Thin Line Between Love and Hate
by Crystal Joyy
Summary: Alice has a vision of Bella being raped but thinks she cheated on Edward. What will the Cullens think? What happens when Bella starts to spiral out of control and gets involved with the wrong crowd? Will she let the Cullens save her? Most characters OOC.
1. Chapter 1

***Bella***

The fact that Edward knew he could persuade me into any situation with just a flash of his pretty boy smile was just evil. I glared -well, tried to glare- at him as laid next to me on my tiny, twin size bed, rubbing soothing circles on my hip with his thumb. It was very hard to focus on why I was supposed to be angry with him when he was doing that.

"They don't leave until noon tomorrow," he assured me. "I'll have plenty of time to catch up with them then." He leaned in and placed his cool lips on the hollow of my neck. My teeth found purchase on my lip and my eyes rolled to the back of my skull.

_ What was I supposed to be doing again?... Oh! Right._

Unwillingly, I pushed against him with weak arms. I whimpered and pouted when he finally pulled away, earning a smug look from him. As much as I wanted him to stay here and continue our makeout session, it wasn't fair to the rest of his family.

The Denali clan had dropped in from Alaska to visit the Cullens on their way to Ann Arbor, Michigan after not seeing the Cullens for quite some time. Oddly, one Cullen happened to see them more recently than the rest. Upon hearing this little tidbit of information, Edward had some explaining to do. Sure, I trusted him; entirely, but there happened to be some things that made a girl insecure. Like if a certain beyond beautiful, strawberry blonde had a crush on your beyond beautiful bronze-hair boyfriend and you're just sitting in the corner like a bump on a log looking like plain Jane in skinny jeans, a tank top, and worn converse.

Meeting them was anything but pleasant. Awkward was more like the right word. Hearing everyone recall stories from way-back-when while I sat quietly smushed between Emmett and Edward wasn't how I imagined meeting the family. I imagined it more like me with glowing golden eyes, finally fitting in the Cullens and Edward's mother's ring on my finger to rub into Tanya's pretty little face; symbolizing Edward rightfully mine. My moment would come soon. I smiled just thinking about it.

"Bella, love?," Edward called to me, snapping me from my daze. Did he say something?

"No, you're going. You should go have fun." I said finally. As part of catching up, the Denali family wanted to take the Cullens out for a night on the town, as Edward and me were currently arguing about whether or not he would be attending.

"I'd rather stay here and watch you sleep," he said, then leaned in to kiss me. It was hard to let him go, and he really wasn't making it any easier. I rolled my eyes but didn't stop kissing him. He knew just what he was doing. When he finally pulled away so I can breathe, I put my hand on his chest to stop him from doing it again.

"Is there a problem?" he asked with a smug smile tugging at the corner of his lips. I playfully glared at him then became serious.

"Yes Edward, there is. Why don't you want to see your family?" I asked. His smug looked disappeared, but he didn't say anything.

Finally he spoke.

"I do want to see them... It's just Tanya..." Her name came out a whisper. Hearing all the stories about her advances and Edward declining her suddenly made sense. He was as uncomfortable around her as I was. This new revelation made me wonder just how recent her last 'advance' was. Was she still trying to make Edward hers? I may be a scrawny little human, but she wasn't getting her hands on _my_ Edward without a fight.

I subconsciously pulled Edward closer to me. This earned a chuckle out of him.

"Don't worry love," He assured me. "I only have eyes for you." He kissed the top of my head and moved a few strands of hair from my face and tucked them behind my ear. "Besides, I perfer brunettes." He winked and I couldn't help but blush.

"I still think you should go," Did I really think he should go? Yeah. Did I really _want _him to go? Of course not, but it would be a real bitch thing to do if I kept him away from his family over a silly little insecurity that I had made up in my head. Seeing as though I was grounded and it was a school night, I wouldn't be making an appearance with him.

He was quiet for a few beats.

"Okay," he relented. "I'll go, but I won't stay a second longer than I have to." It was a promise I was going to hold him to. I didn't want him out with Tanya anymore than he had to be.

As if reading my mind he told me, "I'll be back as soon as I can." And with that, he slipped out my window and landed with a soft thud. Like the clingy girlfriend I was, I was missing him already.

Lying back down on my bed, I let my mind wander. I began to think about how Tanya felt about Edward and how much trouble she would go through to get him.

_ What am I thinking? She's like a cousin to him. She's part of his family. A family I would soon_ _apart of_. I smiled to myself. I closed my eyes, and began to think happier thoughts. Before I knew it, I had drifted off to sleep.

Edward and I were on our honeymoon. I dreamt it was sunny and were alone, enabling Edward to walk about freely without exposing himself. Even in my dreams, the way the sun made his skin sparkle was distracting and breathtaking. I was all so perfect. That is until _she_ showed up.

I woke up in a cold sweat, disorientated and annoyed with myself. Looking at the clock, I realized I had only been asleep for ten minutes, but it felt like hours. Edward told me he loved me millions of times, but in reality I was nothing compared to Tanya and in all honestly I was scared I would lose him. Seeing as even in my dreams Tanya somehow managed to high-jack my honeymoon, didn't sit too well with me. I didn't know Tanya well, but I had a feeling she would go through anything to get what she wanted and I _knew, _just like everyone else that she wanted Edward.

School night be damned, I was going to that club. I showered and began searching through by closet. I laid out what I would be wearing as I tried to remember the name of the club they were going to. _Monster... Eclipse...Duck-off... Crap!.._I _could_ call Alice...

_ Or you can stop being such a Debbie Downer and let Edward have fun for once without you breathing down his neck. _The stupid voice in my head was right. Edward was surrounded by me 24/7, whose to say he shouldn't have a break.

_ But he's around you because he loves you. _I plopped down on my bed. The inner turmoil was killing me. It was as if I had a Devil Bella on one shoulder and a Angel Bella on the other like in the cartoons. I shook my head as if to rid of them. Real Bella needed to think logically.

_ If I go to the club and see that things were okay, I'll come back home. And if I drive fast I'll make it back before Charlie even notices I'm gone._ I almost laughed at that one. As if my truck could push anything over with my answer, I dressed quickly and ran out the door; leaving Charlie a note saying I went for a drive. There was no doubt in my mind he would question me, but I decided to deal with it later.

I drove to Port Angeles barely pushing thirty. Other cars honked their horns and flew past me. They could honk all they wanted, I wasn't going any faster. Not that I _could _go any faster. I knew if I even tried that I'll just end up with a busted engine and no way to get home. Entering the city, I remembered that I still couldn't recall the name of the club. Cursing myself for being so stupid, I reached for my cell phone. No choice but to call Alice now.

I pulled over and rummaged through my bag for my phone only to remember that I'd left it charging on the nightstand next to my bed. _God! How stupid can you get, Swan? _I face palmed myself before bringing my truck back to life and turning around to head back to Forks.

As I was about to get back on the main road, a small, grey, one story building caught my attention; holding a sign that read in glowing green letters: _Aftershock._

_ Erika__!..._

I rolled my eyes at myself. Just when I thought I couldn't get any lamer... I groaned seeing that the parking lot was completely full. There were even a few cars parked around the corner. I was beginning to think that maybe it wasn't worth the hassle. _I didn't drive all this way for nothing._

I pulled into the parking lot in front of a run-down, abandoned building just behind the club. An old 'Grand Opening' sign hung from the front in ripped shreds, probably withered from all the rain.

Looking around, I realized it probably wasn't such a good idea to park here. There were only three other cars parked in the lot, but from the looks of them, they'd been here for quite some time. Glancing around before I got out, I practically ran towards the entrance of the club, nearly knocking a woman over in my haste. From her goth makeup and pale skin I wasn't completely surprised when she turned around and hissed at me. I slowly back away from her. Half expecting her to lunge at me at any given moment. I turned on my heel only to stop right in my tracks.

There were roughly two dozen people standing outside the entrance door, waiting to get inside. I can only imagine what the inside of the tiny building looked like. And from the looks of this line, imagining would be the only glimpse of the club I'll be getting. I shook my head and turned to head home. Then I saw them.

Two blonde bimbos in high heels and even higher skirts walked right past me and the long line of awaiting people. One of the two looked at me like I was old gum stuck on the bottom of their expensive, designer shoes. I was too busy staring to feel offended. They walked up to the bouncer that I had failed to notice before. By removing the rope and letting them, he was awarded by the huge crowd with loud groans. Almost all of them were women and dressed much like the one I'd bumped into. My eyes flew to the door the blondes had disappeared behind to the end of the long line filled with angry people, then to my watch. Charlie's shift would be ending in thirty minutes and I knew he'd be angry to come home and find me gone at this late hour. Especially since it was a school night. It would take me much longer than half an hour to even make it back to Forks, let alone have time to stand in this line. I was sure the club would be closing by the time I would finally get in.

The battle I was having within myself was ridiculous. I didn't didn't know any of these people. It's not like I'd ever see them again.

_ So what if they were angry with me?_ I chanted this to myself. With my eyes squeezed shut, I shoved my hands, along with my pride, in my pockets and let my feet carry me to my destination. I stop when I nearly tripped on the curb where the sidewalk began. I didn't move, I didn't speak, I didn't even open my eyes. I was so afraid of the rejection I didn't want to show my face, which hid behind a curtain of my hair. I briefly wondered if this is what anxiety was. I kept my head down, unable to meet his eyes. Finally, the bouncer's voice boomed.

"Can I help you miss?" he asked, causing me to nearly jump out of my skin. I remained silent. Slowly, raising my head, I looked up at him. His dark sunglasses hid his eyes, which made it a little easier for me. I can pretend it was pity in them instead of rejection.

A few people in line stood and stared at me, which made me rethink my decision of skipping ahead the entire line. My next step towards the entrance was tentative. I was almost afraid I'd be hissed at again. What scared me even worst was that I might be rejected like the rest of the people waiting to get in. That thought caused me to stand frozen on the spot. How embarrassing would it be to be rejected in front of everyone? What made me even think I was better than any of these people? I couldn't believe I was getting so worked up over something so petty.

Looking at the bouncer, I realized how big -no _huge_- he really was. He was no Emmett but he was big none the less. He was still waiting for an answer, I shook my head in defeat before turning around and making my way back to my truck. Well this was a huge waste of gas and time. I didn't accomplish anything other than getting my ego demolished. I wanted to kill myself right there; looking down I realized what I was wearing. My faded, blue jeans made me look unkempted and matched my worn converse. My gray hoodie was missing its drawstring and had a small but noticeable hole above the right pocket. What was I thinking when I put this on?... Oh, right, I _wasn't_ thinking. I was too busy replaying that damn dream over and over in my head.

My teeth clinched together and I felt my entire face turn red from the stares I was getting. There was nothing I wanted more in that moment than to be invisible, or at least somewhere far away from the prying eyes of these oddly dressed people.

Grumbling to myself, I felt relief wash over me when my truck came into view. Knowing I would only embarrass myself even more if I ran and tripped, I settled into a fast paced walk. I was almost home-free when I heard a voice call out, scaring me half to death.

"Excuse me, miss? Could you spare a moment of your time?" I turned to see a dark figure heading towards me. His black hoodie cast a dark shadow over his face, hiding it from my view; one of his hands was shoved in the pocket of his jeans. If that wasn't enough to creep the bejesus out of me, he kept looking behind him as he made his way over to me in a face paced walk, that turned into a jog as he came closer.

My instincts told me this man was dangerous. There was obviously something really wrong about a man in dark clothing running towards you in an abandoned parking lot.

And then I realized... I was_ alone._ In a dark parking lot... With an unknown man running towards me.

It took exactly five seconds for my flight response to kick in. I turned and made a run for my truck, praying that I wouldn't trip... I didn't. I reached my truck and even got the door open, but that was about as far as I'd gotten to my escape when he grabbed a handful of my hair and pulled me to the ground. I screamed and he yanked on my locks again, dragging me to a nearby alleyway where, to my great dismay, there were two others.

Unlike my attacker, their profiles weren't hidden. The tallest one ran his hand threw his blond hair and laughed darkly.

"Jim, you weren't kidding. She's a doll." He stepped closer and ran his hand along my jaw. I shoved it away which must have ticked him off, because he then shoved me up against the brick wall. The shorter, dark-haired one behind him looked between us hesitantly and took a step back. He looked as if he was going to say something before "Jim" pulled a Swiss blade from out his pocket and held it to my face. His eyes widened, but it effectively shut him up.

"Oh, she's a feisty one Jim. She might give us a little trouble." the tall one said, and as if to suggest something, he smirked. Jim pressed the blade harder against my cheek. I squeezed my eyes shut and let out a shuddering breath. I was too scared to think of what they were going to do to me.

"Nah, Gary, you just gotta scare her real good." he turned to me. "You listen to me, and you listen good," It was the first time I had actually listened to Jim's voice. It was creepier than his appearance. It was sly and quiet and reminded me of a snake the way every word came out as a hiss. It only made him seem more mincing. Unlike his loud, arrogant partner. "You're gonna do whatever we tell you to do and I don't want any shit from you, ya hear?" I didn't say anything. I didn't give him any indication that I'd acknowledged what he'd said, but the look in his piercing blue eyes told me he must have known I wouldn't try anything. He handed the blade over to the bigger asshole, Gary, and backed away slowly, only breaking our gaze to sit down on the slightly damp concrete and take a sip from an already opened bottle of beer.

"Alright," Gary said loudly. "Let's get this party started." The closer he came, the farther I pressed myself against the wall. It wasn't until he was directly in front of me that I realized I was officially trapped with no way out. My only hope was Edward and he had yet to show up. Maybe he didn't know which alleyway I was in_._

_Yeah, because there were so many alleys right outside the club to choose from._

I was slightly shocked by the voice in my head. I'd never doubted Edward's ability to keep me safe, but the fact that he would have been here before anything had gotten this far didn't go unnoticed.

I was abruptly pulled out of my thoughts when large hands roughly groped my breasts. I released a loud gasp and, by reflex, pushed him away. The touch was all wrong. Rough instead of gentle. Greedy instead of loving. Hot instead of cold. This sick man's hands instead of Edward's.

"Hey!" His hands were now at my throat. He squeezed slightly, but it was enough to send me into a small coughing fit. It was a threat. A test of what his strength really was. "Try that shit again." he warned. He didn't say anything else. He didn't need to. The blade did all the talking. The very tip was now pressed roughly to my temple. I took short, shallow breaths. One wrong move and it would pierce the skin. I was sure of it. My eyes glanced towards the other two men still in the back. Jim was still watching intently while the smaller one didn't even look in our direction.

I felt hands at the hem of my shirt as they made their way further up. The shock finally wore off and fear sat in. Tears stung my eyes and washed down my cheeks. It was as if someone had broken a levee, no matter how much I wanted it to stop, the tears continued to fall freely. I didn't know what to do. _Should I fight? Or should I just..._ I didn't even want to think about it.

My shirt was pulled from over my head and thrown to the ground. I shuddered when I felt his lips come into contact with the skin on my shoulder. Hot, sloppy kisses instead of the cool ones I'd grown so accustomed to. My bra joined my shirt and I couldn't hold back the sobs as his hands reached for the botton of my jeans.

"Please..." My voice was almost inaudible even to me. _Edward... Save me._

"Please? You want me to please you?" he smirked. "Well that's what I'm trying to do baby. Now, just shut the fuck up." Grabbing my wrists and pinning them to the wall with one hand, he shoved my pants down to my ankles with the other. My sobs became louder. _Edward, please. _

His lips met mine and I almost gagged. The taste of the alcohol made it that much worst. His hands reached for my underwear and I lost control of the last shred of sanity I had. I would _not _let him take this away from me. The last thing I have left to give the man I loved. The one thing I held that made me worth his time and effort. The one thing that made me _worthy_ of him at all. He couldn't have it.

Pushing myself off the wall, I threw all of my weight towards him. He barely stumbled back. My small frame compared to his was like comparing the sun to the moon; me being the moon. The devilish gleam in his eyes was replaced by an angry one and his hands were at my neck again. Except this time he hadn't held back. He shoved my head back and it hit the wall. _Hard. _I swung at him repeatedly, but, of course, my fighting was useless.

"Stupid bitch. Jim, Calvin, help me hold her down." Finally letting go of my neck, he threw me to the ground where the two others grabbed hold of my wrists and ankles.

"Let me go!" I shouted. Gary dropped to his knees by my side. Opening the blade once again, he leaned in.

"Take her underwear off." Jim's hands moved from my ankles to the hem of my underwear. He roughly tugged them from under me. I used his moment of vulnerability to my advantage and kicked him square in the jaw. Luckily, he wasn't as big as the other one and flew back, holding his face. _Un_luckily, he got right back up and the look in his eyes was enough to stop me in my tracks.

I've never seen _anyone_ look like that before. He was obviously in full rage. I hated that I choose at that moment to realize that I could _actually_ lose my life.

At this point, I was praying for any miracle to save me.

"No." I pleaded. He slowly got up, wiping blood from the corner of his mouth. The fire in his eyes was nothing like Edward's. His being terrifying, Edward's more lustful. He lunged for me and pinned me against the ground. This time his hands worked fast. Spreading my legs, cupping my breasts, covering my mouth, removing his pants...

"Aw, don't cry baby. You did this to yourself." he told me. "Jim! Hold her legs down." I felt a bone-crushing grip on my ankles again. I was unable to move even an inch. Then, without warning...

"Ugh!" My muffled screamed on urged him on.

"Yeah. You like that, baby? Scream for me again." He thrust even harder into me. My screams come unwillingly and so do my tears.

The pain turns into an ache and the ache turns numb. I've stopped crying, I've stopped wishing, I've stopped fighting. The best I can do is stop feeling. And that's exactly what I do as they take turns with me. But not all of them. Just two. Jim and Gary. I briefly wonder why the other doesn't join in. But he doesn't stop it either, so I hate him too.

I don't know how long it was before it was finally over. They left me there, naked and shivering, laughing and stumbling as they went. With not so much as a backwards glance in my direction. I didn't move even then. Only when I realize I don't want anyone to see me like this do I finally make my way to my truck. The door is still opened, just as I left it, and the keys are still in the ignition. Climbing into the cab, I try my best to ignore the pain coming from between my legs. My eyes follow the time on the dashboard. _1:22 AM._

Putting my truck in drive, I made my way home; only thinking of Edward.


	2. Chapter 2

**Bella's POV**

I drove down my street hoping not to see Charlie's crusier in the driveway, but I'm not that lucky. I immediately began to cry again. Having to look at my father and explain this to him was going to be painful and even more difficult than I could imagine.

I walked inside and the second I closed the door I heard Charlie.

"Bella where have you been? I was worried sick! I almost-" he stopped mid sentence when he rounded the corner and saw me covered in dirt, tears in my eyes and still only wearing my bra. "My god! Bella what happened to you?" he rushed over and tried to comfort me the best way he could. Wasn't much he could do when I was still inmy condition.

He lead me over to the couch and covered me in a blanket. I was struggling to find the right words to tell him.

"Did someone rob you?" I could see the worry in his eyes. I remember walking to my truck and picking up my purse. Nothing seem to be missing. I shook my head. His next sentence sounded more angry and accusing. "Did Edward do this?"

Surely Edward wasn't the person I thought he was but he wouldn't physically hurt me...would he? I shook my head gain and Charlie sighed in fustration. "Bella, please tell me what happen," Charlie was the chief of police. He could the person that did this to me. It was his job, but knowing that still didn't do me any justice. I was still afraid to tell him... but I had to. There was no way he would let me just go to my room and pretend like I didn't just walk in the way I did.

"I-I...was raped," I kept my head down as I waited for his reaction.

"Who did this?" he breathing hard now. I shrugged my shoulders as the tears came harder and he held me tight.

**Alice's POV**

Sitting next to Tanya now made me wonder what I ever like about her. She had her head in her hands like she was crying. I felt kind of bad for her when I overheard Kate and Irina telling Edward that her boyfriend had broken up with her. Edward- and everyone else at the table-knew they were trying to hook the two up. The part that made me angry enough to stay away from them all night was that they knew Edward had a girlfriend.

Speaking of Bella, I had better check in on her. Make sure she didn't break her leg walking across a room, knowing her being a kluts.

What I saw made me gasp, getting the attention of everyone at the table. I saw Bella lying in the ground with a man I had never seen before on top of her. They were having sex. She wasn't trying to stop him. She... _wanted it._

I looked at Edward. His expression was one of anguish, and I knew he had seen my vision.

I'm sorry,

I thought at him. He clenched his jaw and nodded. Everyone at the table except Tanya and Edward was looking at me. I looked down shyly and they all went back to what they were doing. Suddenly Edward got up and walked over to Tanya. She looking up and je was smiling.

Edward, don't.

"Would you like to dance?" I could tell he was hurting, but he didn't have to play with Tanya's emotions. He ignored my thought as Tanya took his hand and lead him to the dancefloor. Jasper gently elbowed me to get my attention. I knew was feeling my worry and pity I had toward Edward and my anger and betrayl I had towards Bella.

"I'll tell you later," I whisper and he nodded.


	3. Chapter 3

**Bella's POV**

"Go upstairs and put on some fresh clothes. I'm taking you to the hospital," Charlie explained. I nodded and walked upstairs with the blanked wrapped around me.

When I was ready I went downstairs and found Charlie pacing the kitchen, with his hands in his hair, lost in thought. I watched him for a bit, realizing how stressed and angry he was.

"Are you ready?" he asked when he finally realized I was waiting for him. I nodded and we were off.

The car ride was silent, which I was beyond grateful for, but I couldn't help but wonder what was going though his head. My father was a man of the law and I doubt he would ever hurt someone outside what was legal and abuse his position, but the crazied look in his eyes made me think otherwise.

When we arrived at the hospital, all of the nurses were staring at us. Even though I was a regular here due to me clusminess, I never came in with my dad and was old enough not to have to.

"Dr. Cullen isn't in today Bella," Nurse Betty explained to me once we got to the service counter. Everyone knew who my usual doctor is when I got hurt. I had nothing against any of the other doctors, but I felt more comfortable with Carlisle. He had that effect on everyone.

"It doesn't matter. We need any doctor that's avaliable," Charlie responded before I could answer. I could tell by his tone that he was in Chief Swan mode. She nodded slowly and called for Dr. Campbell.

When we got to the room Dr. Campbell gave me a paper gown to put on and told me to wait on the table while he got his clipboard.

"Now Bella, what happened?" he asked when I finally arrived back. I just stared at him while he waited. He sighed when he realized I wasn't going to say anything. "Bella I can't help you if you don't tell me what happened," He was right. What if I was pregnant? What if my rapist gave me an STD? I had to tell him, he was my doctor.

"I was raped," I whispered, but hoped he could here me. I didn't want to repeat myself. The shocked expression on his face told me he did. He reached into his drawer and pulled out a kit.

"I want you to take these," he handed my three pills. Two red one and a white one.

"What are they?" I asked.

"The white one is the morning after pill. So you don't get pregnant and the two red ones and are pain killers," he explained. I nodded.

"Can you please not tell anyone about what happened?" I pleaed through my tears. He put his hand on my shoulder and I flinched away from his touch. He quickly pulled it away, realizing his mistake.

"You're my patient Bella, and I took an oath not to talk about anything going on with a patient unless they give me permission," he explained. I sighed in relief and quietly thanked him.

Everything else went by fast, although he had to calm he down when he told me to prop my legs he was done, he left so I could change back into my clothes.

Charlie later walked in with other police officer and a man holding a drawing book.

"Bella, I know you don't want to talk about it anymore, but we have to find the person that did this to you. Do you remember what he looked like?"

I blinked back a few tears and tried to remember everything I could.

"He was about 6' 1", pale, unusually large nose, and a scar across his chin...that's all I can remember," I toldhim honestly. Charlie nodded and sat next to me.

"Tell me exactly what happened," I could tell he really didn't want to know, but he had to if he wanted the man who did this to his little girl to go to jail. What he did to me will be held against me in court.

After I told them what happened, the police officer and the artist left. Charlie walked out when I got to the part about getting my clothes taken off. He apologized for leaving and I told I understood.

The next morning I got up and got ready for school. The doctor was right, I did feel sore.

"You really shouldn't go, Bella," Charlie told me when I came downstairs.

"Yeah, I know, but I think I should," I told him. In all honest I wanted to pretend this never happened. It would raise suspiction with the Cullens and that was the last the thing I wanted.

"Did you talk to your mom?" he asked. Crap, I forgot about her. Telling Renee was going to worst than telling Charlie. She would start crying and telling me that I should move back with her. The more I thought about the more I contemplated not telling her at all, though I knew it would worst if I didn't. I shook my head and I heard him sigh. "She should hear it from you,"

I rolled my eyes, as if I didn't already know that. Good thing my back turned toward him. "I'll talk to her when I get home," I said picking up my booksack. "I gotta go,"

"You take those pills the doctor gave you?" he asked me.

I nodded in reply and got into my truck.

While driving I couldn't help but think about Edward. I knew I still loved him and would take him back in a heartbeat, but I need to know why he did it.

When I got to school, I saw Alice, Jasper, Rosalie, Emmett, and two others I've never seen before, but no Edward. I walked over to them and tapped Alice's shoulder. She turned around and glared at me

"What?" she nearly screamed. Surprised by her reaction I took a few steps back.

"What's wrong with you?" I asked.

"What's wrong with me? What's wrong with you? How could you do that to my brother?" A few people passing by started to stare. Alice must have noticed because she looked behind me and I heard quick paced footsteps. What the hell was she talking about? Edward was the one that hurt me...or maybe it was because I was tainted. I wasn't a virgin anymore, who would want me now? I was hoping she wouldn't see a vision of it.

Alice looked to her side and smirked. Interuppting my thoughts, Edward's volvo pulled up into the empty parking space next to us and Edward got out. He didn't notice I was there or maybe he did, but was ignoring me. He walked over to the passager side and opened the door. Tanya stepped out and pretended she didn't see me either.

"We'll see you guys later," he said looking at the rest of the Cullens, then walked off with Tanya, hand in hand. The two girls that I didn't recongize followed behind them. Must be her sisters.

I watched as Edward kissed her lips and disappeared behind the school doors. I looked over to the other Cullens and they were all looking at me. Jasper's expression was blank. I looked at Rosalie who was trying to hold back a laugh and Emmett who looked away from my gaze. Then finally back to Alice who was still glaring at me. A few tears escaped my eyes and Alice rolled her eyes.

Everything I feared the most came true. The Cullens hated me and I lost Edward to Tanya... I've been replaced. I turned around and headed towards my truck. I couldn't go to school today. What was I even thinking?

3 days later

I still haven't gone to school. Charlie is starting to worry even more and Renee is freaking out. Just as I predicted, she's trying to make me live with her in Florida. It actually doesn't sound that bad of an idea, but I can't leave Charlie, no matter how much it'll hurt to go back to school and see Edward with another woman. The Denali coven was only supposed to be here for a few days, but that was only because Edward didn't want Tanya around. He... _loves _her now. What if they stay? Or worse, what if he went back to Alaska with her and I never saw him again?

I went to school the next day. After crying myself to sleep last night I was sure that I wouldn't cry when I saw Edward, atleast I hopednot. As soon as I got out my truck Tyler and Mike ran up to me.

"Bella," Mike started, "I just wanted you to know that I will always be there for you if you need a shoulder to cry on," Great now everyone knows. Tyler pushed Mike out his way, knocking him to the ground.

"But you would want a man, and Mike is not man enough,"

I mummbled a thanks and pushed passed them both.

On my way into the school I saw all the Cullens -besides Edward- and Tanya's sisters leaning against their cars staring at me. Edward and Tanya were by his car, which was in his usually spot. Tanya was sitting on the hood and Edward was standing in front of her. I quickly looked away when I saw them in an intense makeout session.

Biology was the worse part of the day but also the best. Best because I got to see and sit next to Edward and worse because he wasn't mine anymore. At lunch they all were staring at me again. Edward and Tanya still not bothering to look in my direction. The love of my life was ignoring me. I just might take my mom up on the offer to live with her.

When I got home I was suprised to see Charlie's crusier in the driveway. He had been working hard my case. Working at all hours of the night and even pulling all nighters.

I walked inside and saw Charlie sitting in his chair. He looked up at me.

"Bells, I have something to tell you," I was tired and I wanted to take a shower before I crashed.

"Dad, please just come out and say it. I don't want to have to stand here all day," That came out wrong, but Charlie didn't seem to think much of it, so I didn't say anything.

"Bella, we can't find the person that...did that to you. We don't have enough information. What else can you tell me?" I stared at him in disbelief.

"What else can I tell you? I told you everything! I told you everything that he did to me and I told you what he looked like!" He frowned and looked a little angry. I didn't care. I tired and miserable.

"Bella, I'm sorry but what you told us wasn't enough," I wanted so bad to slap him.

"Wasn't enough? How can't it not be enough? It was dark and he was wearing a hood! I don't think you would have been able to see him either, Charlie!" I screamed.

He obviously didn't like the way I was talking to him.

"Bella, I am your father and you will not talk to me like that in my own house!" He was standing up now.

"Well then I guess I'll just move out!" I yelled the last two words so loud my throat was starting to get sore. He just looked at me. I rolled my eyes and walked out the door. I had no idea wear I was going but I knew that after what happened I wouldn't be able to go back to Charlie's house. I was homeless.


	4. Chapter 4

**Bella's POV**

**_2 weeks later_**

After what happened, I couldn't go back to Charlie's. There's no way he would forgive me for the things I said and did. My own father, who worked so hard to find me justice and this is how I repay him. Shake my goddamn head. I'll be honest that there are some things I wish I had done differently, but I was too proud and stubborned to admit that to him. So now I have to suffer the consequences.

The only other people that I would have been able to stay with, hate me. So instead I've been living in an motel room. Being homeless wasn't all like people would think...

It was much worse.

My truck ran out of gas so I have to walk back and forth to work which was almost two miles. Luckily, I only worked four days out of the week.

Later, I got fired for being late and yelling at Mike in front of a customer. When I tried to plead my case and explain that Mike was being unprofessinal by hitting on me, I was still let go. I really wasn't suprised. If my parents were my boss I'm sure they would take my side even if I were wrong.

I used what money I had left from my job and spent it on food and other things I needed like detergent, and I saved some quaters from when I would need them at the laundry mat. Luckily, I still had some clothes in my truck from when Alice would drag my shopping with her.

Alice... School with her was hell. Who knew someone so small could be so cruel? She was worse than Rosalie. She would knock my books out my hands and bump into me in the halls

Rosalie on the other hand would just laugh anytime Alice did something mean and call me a slut, whore or a tramp. I couldn't take it anymore and dropped out. If I stayed in school any longer than I probably would've ended up with a broken leg or arm.

I know I shouldn't let people get to me like that, but really what am I missing? I was already more advanced than other students. Once I got another steady job, I could go back and my diaploma.

Between food, laundry, and the motel room, I was running low on money fast and would need to find a job soon or else the only meals I'll be eating are the thrown away leftovers behind McDonalds. I shuddered, hoping it would _never _have to come to that.

I was on my way back to my truck when they walked up to me.

"Bella," I stopped dead on my tracks and turned to where familiar the voice was coming from. Standing there with concerned looks on their faces were Carlisle and Esme. I suddenly couldn't move. I couldn't do anything. I just stood there looking like an idiot.

"Bella, sweetheart, we came to get you," Esme explained, walking towards me. She put her arms around my shoulders and pulled me into a hug. I couldn't react.

Get me? Were they mad at me? Of course they were. They thought I had sex with that mad too. When the shock wore off, I realized they were leading me to thier car.

"No," I said, shrugging off Esme's arms from around me. "I'm not going anywhere," I said backing away from them.

"Bella please don't do this," Esme pleaded. I shook my head and crossed my arms. Childish, I know.

Carlisle sighed and walked over to me. "Bella, please. We've been worried sick," Was Charlie worried too? Was he looking for me?

"We've been looking for you for days,"Esme stated. "We heard you dropped out of school and moved out of Charlie's house. We're here to take you home," So they really do care.

"I can't go home yet. Not after what I said to Charlie." I told them. I need time away from him. I'll go home and beg for forgiveness when I'm good and ready.

I started to walk off to my truck when Carlisle gentley grabbed my arm and pulled me back."We're not letting you live like this. Your coming to stay with us," he told me pulling me towards the car again.

Stay with them? Were they crazy? Alice and Rosalie live there! Edward and Tanya live there!

"No!" I screamed just a little too loud, but I was too late. They put me in their car and we were off.

When we got to the house the girls were in the living room laughing but the second I walked through the door silence filled the room and all eyes were on me. Alice got up and left the room followed by Rosalie and Tanya.

"Let me know if you need anything," Esme told me when we got to the room I would be staying in. I nodded and and she gave me a piece of paper with her cell phone number on it. "Just incase I'm not home," she explain and left the room.

The next day Carlisle went to work and Esme went hunting. I tried to avoid coming out my room but, ofcourse, my body betrayed me when I got hungry. I walked downstairs and noticed Alice and Tanya watching T.V. Deciding that it would be best to ignored them, I walked right past them and went to the kitchen. Knowing that they knew I was in here made me uneasy, and knowing that Alice most likely saw me coming, made it even worse.

After eating, I walked back to see that they were gone. I was a little relieved, that is until I got to my room. I walked into my room and saw Alice and Tanya going though my things.

They were moving at inhuman speed wrecking everything in their path. Esme is going to freak when she sees this, and even though Alice was being a bitch I didn't want her to get in trouble.

"Stop!" I screamed. Alice and Tanya instantly stopped and looked at me.

"What did you just say?" Tanya asked in a threatening tone. I was scared to answer the question, but maybe if I did she would give me some respect.

"Stop..." I said in barely a whisper. She glanced at Alice and and her eyes narrowed. I was wrong she wouldn't give me any respect. Instead she was at my side in a second and slapped me across the face... Hard. Her hand was ice cold but my face beginning to feel the hot sting.

"Don't ever talk back to me!" she screamed.

"Tanya!" Alice yelled.

A tear rolled don't my face and Emmett, Jasper, and Edward was behind me before it hit the floor. They all just stood there, staring. Jasper grabbed Alice and pulled her away from the scene like he was protecting _her_. Edward was just staring at Tanya who silently walked past him, the click-clack sound of her retreating heels was all to be heard.

I looked at Emmett and he was already walking off with his head down. No cares, not even Emmett. I'm not important anymore and mostly likely never was.

The next day everyone except Carlisle and Esme went hunting so I finally got time to myself. I was so tired from not being able to sleep last night. I'd been doing too much thinking about the family that was supposed to always protect me. Edward said he would always love me, but his heart belonged to Tanya now. Those words cut me deep, cause I knew they were true. What am I supposed to do without him? I felt the tears threating to spill over for the third time today. I had to stop thinking about it, but I couldn't.

Edward was always there for me from the start. When James was trying to kill me, When I couldn't sleep, and when I was surrounded by four men in Port Angels...

The tears started up again. This time because my rapist was most likely still on the loose. What if he was looking for me, and found me? Edward wouldn't be there to help me or protect me. I was on my own again. Those moments of what happened to me relived over and over in my head. I know he would find me and I would rather die than have to go through it all again. Maybe I should. I have nothing else to live for.

I sat there for I don't know how long with a razor to my wrist trying to build up the courage to cut myself, but I couldn't I didn't want to feel the pain. I wanted my death to be quick amd painless. I wonder if I would feel it when I hit the ground or if I would die instantly. There was only one way to find out.

I walked over to the window, opened it, and looked down.

God, It had to be atleast ten or twelve feet down. It was perfect. With this height I was positive I'd die instantly.

I threw one leg out, gripping onto the side of the window seel so tight my fingers were starting to get splinters. I threw my other leg out and I was sitting on the paneling now, but that's all I did, sit there.

_Just do it already._

I thought to myself, then I closed my eyes and jumpped...


	5. Chapter 5

**Bella's POV**

I felt a cold set of arms catch me, but it took me awhile to realize this. I opened my eyes and saw Esme holding me, walking towards the front door. I groaned in embarassment. How was I to explain to her I was trying to commit sucide?

We walked though the door and Esme put me on the couch.

"Carlisle," she called. Great, she was getting him in this too. Another groan in embarassment. When I opened my eyes Carlisle was standing above me with a worried exprerssion.

"What happened?" he asked, putting a hand to my forehead. I didn't say anything.

Finally Esme spoke up. "Bella, doing this isn't the way to solve any of your problems." I sighed and sat up. To be honest, I thought I was. I started to cry, thinking again about all the reasons I wanted to end my life.

"I can't do it anymore Esme," I said between sobs. "Everyone hates me."

Esme sat down next to me and put her hand on my shoulder. "They don't hate you, Bella. They're just surprised your not..shy," I can tell she was doing her best to find the right words without upsetting me but the truth was there wasn't any. I shook my head and pulled my knees up to my chest.

"No, they hate me because they think I had sex with another man,"

I saw Esme and Carlisle exchange glances for a moment then looked back at me. "What do you mean 'think'?" Esme asked. She obviously thought there was no way Alice's vision was wrong but the future coulds always change, so why was she depending on it so much? They both were still watching me with curious filled eyes. Should I trust them? But this is Carlisle and Esme I'm talking about. They were the only Cullens that still treated me like family after all that has happened. I knew I could trust them.

"I didn't have sex with that man... He raped me."

Esme gasped and covered her mouth. "Oh my god." Was all she could say. I looked at Carlisle who's facial expression had a mixture of sorrow and...anger? Esme hugged me as I sobbed onto her shoulder.

After I calmed down and was able to talk they asked me questions like. 'Who else knows?', 'Did Charlie find the person that did it?', and 'Did I go to the doctor?'.

"I just can't believe Alice saw it all wrong," Esme said after I finished answering one of their questions. I almost forgot about her. I started to panic when I remembered everyone would be back in just a short time.

They must have heard my heartbeat pick up speed because Esme was by my side again patting my back and telling me to calm down in a soothing voice.

"I want to go back to Charlie's," I told them. They didn't respond but Esme followed my upstairs to my room.

She was angry when she what Alice did to my room, but I didn't have time to explain anything. I needed to get out of here.

"Bella, please stay. We can explain this to the rest of the family together if you'd like," Esme begged. I shook my head.

"I can't Esme... If only you knew the way they treat me when your not around," Esme gapsed and pulled me into another hug.

"Why didn't you tell me?" she asked. How could I tell her? How could I talk to anyone about any of this? It was too personal, but telling her that wouldn't be a good enough answer, so I just shrugged in response.

I don't know how she did it but Esme convinced me to staying for awhile longer and promised that she'd talk to everyone about the way I've been treated without revealing my secret, and for that I was greatful. I wasn't ready to explain what happened to anyone else just yet. Even though I hated how they treated me, reliving those details were just too painful.

While convincing me to stay, Esme even talked me into going back to school. I start tomorrow.


	6. Chapter 6

**Bella's POV**

When everyone got back, I stayed in my room while Esme talked to them. This was one thing I couldn't talk Esme out of, and since I couldn't do that I told her not to tell them I tried to commit suicide.

The next day, I went to school and all eyes were on me. I was bombarded with questions all day asking why I left and if Edward being with Tanya was the reason.

Alice had gotten to most of them. I knew because some people asked my if I left because I cheated. Alice had no right and it was starting to get annoying. I really wasn't any of their business and I didn't even know some of the people that harrassed me all day about the situation. It got to the point where I had to hide in the bathroom until the tardy bells rung.

I still had my old classes, but I was so lost. Nothing made sense anymore. Math was the worst. Everyone around me got what the teacher was doing except me. We even had a pop quiz. I had no idea what to do with the equations so I just put my name on the test paper and handed it in. The teahcer looked disappointed. She wrote a zero on my paper and told me I should study harder and do homework. I nodded, walked back to my desk, and put my head in my hands. I should have never dropped out.

What was I gonna do with my life? If I don't graduate this year, I'll be a drop out for sure.

I looked around the room and saw Mike staring at me. He looked down and blushed when he saw me looking. Maybe I could live with him and his family. I snorted. Who was I kidding. Mike is a pervert and I was still really pissed off at him for costing me my job and not even owning up to it.

Maybe Angela. She was my only real friend nowadays. Still talked to me in the halls, sat with me at lunch, and asked for my advice on things. She was a great person, but I couldn't take advanage of her by invading her home.

I was so happy when it was time to go home, I practially skipped out the door. I was supposed to be riding home in Rosalie's BMW with the rest but when I got outside to the parking lot, they were already speeding away without me. I could hear Tanya's high pitched giggle fading away.

I know they did this on purpose and I should have known from the start that this would happen. I sighed and sat down on the curb. It would be useless to walk when the Cullens lived seven miles away. It would only be a matter of time before they got home and Esme realize they left me.

It's been ten minutes and not one car has rode by.

Suddenly, a man walked up to me. He looked familiar...


	7. Chapter 7

**Bella's POV**

It was Kyle Smith, from my homeroom and third period reading class. He sat next to me and lit a ciggerate?

...No, a joint. "Wanna puff?" he asked, blowing the smoke into my face. It made my eyes burn. I shook my head in response.

"No thanks. I don't smoke." _And niether should you_. I thought. I am such a nerd.

"Oh come on. It'll make you feel good..." I stopped listening after that. It was all I needed to hear. I took the joint from him and inhaled the smoke, but quickly exhaled, gasping for fresh air. It tasted disgusting bit I did feel a little light headed.

We past it to each other for a few minutes before a car pulled up in front of window rolled down and Esme's head poked out. She looked disappointed. I was getting used to seeing that look.

"Hey Esme! I've been waiting for you!" I shouted. She sighed and shook her head. I didn't want to upset her anymore so I got in the car and waved goodbye to Kyle as we drove off. I was greatful she didn't say anything the whole ride, but I wanted to know what she and how she felt about what I did. I felt bad for upsetting her after all she's done.

"Are you mad?" I asked. She didn't answer right away but she said she wasn't. Just surprised.

"This isn't like you Bella." I hadn't realized it until she said it, but she was right. I've changed in most ways. I dropped out of school, I tried to kill myself, and I got high. All the things I thought I would never do.

I went straight to my room when we got to the house. I needed to sleep this high off before I really pissed off Esme. She had every right to kick me out and I was just pushing my luck. I ingored the way Tanya pinched her nose when I walked past. I wasn't sure if she was disgusted by the smell of weed on me or was just being mean and for once, I didn't care. Why did I have to be high feel this way?

I later woke to the smell of chicken frying and my stomach growled. I hadn't had lunch and it made me realize how hungry I was. I couldn't help but run down the stairs towards the smell. When I walked into the kitchen, Esme was just sitting a dinner plate on the table.

"Enjoy," she said sweetly and sat in the seat next to mine. I mummbled a thank you and dug into my food,trying to remember to actually taste the food as it went down.

After about ten minutes she asked, "So how was school today?" She would only worry if I told her the truth so I looked down at my plate so she wouldn't tell I was lying.

"Fine." I stated simply.

"Did you have any homework?" she asked. Dammit, how did she know about that?


	8. Chapter 8

Bella's POV

"Umm...yeah," I drug out the letters. There was no use in lying since I wasn't any good at it.

"Did you do it?" Esme asked. I shook my head.

"I'll do now since I'm finished eating," I said and headed into the living room, where everyone was watching television.

_What is this?_

I thought to myself, looking over the math problem again for the thirteenth time. I've been sitting here for almost twenty minutes staring at the same equation, trying to make sense of it. I groaned and put my head on the table. Rosalie snorted and I looked up.

"Stupid slut." She said as she grabbed the remote. She said it more to herself fbut I knew it was meant for me to hear.

"...Yeah...I know," I whispered before I got up and walked to my room to cry.

I heard a knock on my door and I knew it had to be either Esme or Carlisle.

"Come in," I said even though I really wasn't in the talking mood, but it would make me feel guilty if I told them to go away in their own home.

"Bella, sweetheart, are you okay?" Esme asked, sitting down next to me. She spoke again when I didn't answer. "Rosalie didn't mean what she said and you know it's not true. I sent them out so we can talk, so please talk to me." she pleaded.

I sat up and shook my head. "No, she's right. I am a stupid slut." She put her hands on my shoulders and looked me in the eyes.

"Don't say that. Don't _ever _that. It's not true," She almost yelled at me.

"Yes it is. I got what I deserved...everything I deserved."

She shook me this time. "Bella, you did not deserve to be raped! And I don't ever want to hear you say that again!" This time she did yell and it scared me alittle.

"What's going on?" Carlisle asked from the doorway.

"...Bella and I were just talking," Esme replied while getting up. "Go to sleep,Bella. You have school tomorrow." She told me and walked out with Carlisle following behind. She was obviously angry with me. I sighed, pulled the covers over my head and cried myself to sleep.

When school started Tanya pushed me into the lockers since 'I was in her way'. This game was seriously starting to get old.

"Whore," Rosalie called me. I didn't say anything, I just stared at her. I thought it would be best if I just ignored her. It wasn't like I would be able to win in fight against here in the first place.

In Biology I sat next to Edward and it took everything in me not to tell him everything that happened. I wanted so badly to tell, but I still felt like I wasn't ready and now definately wasn't the time.

Suddenly, I felt overwhelmed and I didn't know by what. I felt the need the cry. I sighed...depression. My life was falling apart, I should have known this was to come. Thoughts of jumping from the schoool building filled my mind. Nothing in life was getting better, I was going to be stuck in depression for along time.

When the bell rung to got home, I saw Esme sitting in her car waiting for me.

"I have to got to the store. Would you like to come?" she asked when I got in the car. I shook my head indacating a 'no'.

"I have homework again." I told her. I wasn't lying; I did have homework. Though I wasn't planning on doing it. I just wanted to cry myself to sleep.

When I walked into the house Rosalie was sitting on the sofa looking at intensely at Tanya. She didn't look at me when I came in but they started to laugh when Tanya said something she was reading from... a book?

No! Not just a book. My diary!

"What are you doing?" I yelled. I instantly regretted saying anything after the ordeal that endded with Tanya slapping me across the face. I still had a bruise from it. I still had a bruise from alot of things she did to me, and I hated her for that.

"Shut the fuck up!" I'm reading!" she screamed back at me. Then looked back down at the book and started to read aloud again.

She kept reading on and on but I blacked out. How could she be so cruel? How could any of them do this to me? That book is for my eyes only. _Everything _is in that book. Even what happened to me, even what my rapist looks like. I had to get that book back.

I was vaugely aware of the other gathering around us.

I quickly walked up to Tanya and snatched the book out of her hand. She looked up at me with rage in her eyes.

"You slut!" she hollered before she pushed me on the floor and got on top of me. The position made me think back to the night I was raped and caused a tear to roll down my face.

"Don't you ever ject anything from out my hand again! I could kill you right now!" she threatened.

"Please," I begged.

I may have seem like I was begging for her to spare my life, but the trust was I wanted so bad for her to end it.

Esme choose that moment to walk in and Tanya quickly got off me.

"Tanya... Alice...Tanya anwsered and walked out the room with my diary in her hand. There was no way I would get it back. She would know my secret, but what would she think about it? What am I saying, I already know how she's going to react. She'll be even more furious that I wrote about it. I hope she kicks my ass for the way I hurt Edward...the entire Cullen family. I sighed and went upstairs to atleast attempt to do homework.

After about fifteen minutes of crying, I shut my math book and put it in my booksack. It was one in the morning and I could barely keep my eyes open. Just as I was about to climb into bed Tanya barged in and started to scream at me.

"You think _I'm_ the one being a bitch?" She yelled while waving my diary in my face. "Esme and Carlisle aren't here to help you this time!" She said, while pulling me out the bed by my legs. My head hit the floor and I blacked out for a second. Tanya didn't notice and if she did she didn't care.

"Let me go!" I shouted at her.


	9. Chapter 9

**Bella's POV**

I quickly grabbed hold of the ralling and held on for dear life as she tried to pull me down the stairs. She let go of my legs and unwound my fingers

This was my chance!

I moved from under her and bolted down the stairs. I still have no clue how I made it down them without falling flat on my face but I was thankful.

I tried to run to Carlisle's study .To hide there until he or Esme came home, but Tanya caught me. What the hell was I thinking trying to out run a vampire?

She picked me up by waist and walked to towards the door. She was putting me out.

My back was towards her but I was still kicking and swinging and only hurting myself.

She threw me to the ground and I hit my head on the hard concrete. My vision was fading in and out, but I fought to keep consious. I propped myself up on my elbow and raised my hand to the back of my head. I felt something warm.

Blood...

She shut the door and left me there to bleed to death.

"I hate you! I hate all of you!" I screamed before the darkness took over me.

I was true. I did hate them, but not as much as I hated myself. I thought they would love me forever but each day that love was fading away. They didn't care enough to stop Tanya from hurting me. I had to move on. I _wanted _to move on. All I could do is pray that Carlisle or Esme would come home in time.

I felt someone grab my wrists and pull me away. I forced my eyes open but my vision was a blur. I saw a figure, but I couldn't make out who it was.

Esme? No, her hair is longer. Carlisle? Couldn't be. This person _was _pale, but had a big nose and... black hair.

These features were so familiar and as I begun to think about it all I realized who it was. I had to many nightmares about this person. My life was falling apart because of him. I needed to get away. I knew what he wanted to do. He wanted to hurt me again. Leave me bloodly, naked, and to die. I didn't feel at all surprised. I knew we would find me sooner or later.

I opened my mouth to scream, but nothing came out. He looked down at me and smiled.

"You're awake. Good. You'll enjoy this just as much as me." he said.

He pulled me to the side of the house and stripped me of my pants and underwear. It was happening again and there was nothing I could do about it. I closed my eyes, hoping to pass out before the pain started, but it had already begun.

I heard him moan my name and a few other words along with it but I didn't want to heard him nor feel him inside of me. Suddenly, his weight lifted off of me and I heard a scream. I peeked open my eyes, scared of what I'd find but he wasn't there.

Was this my chance to escape? I didn't waste another second to ponder this. I had to run. I turned over and got on all fours to get up. I realized my attempt was useless when I felt a sharp pain shoot thoughout my body. I screamed in agony and dropped to the ground. I couldn't move. Soon he would be back for me.

Why did this happen again? How did he find me? How did Death know that if this were to happen again that I would kill myself? Was it a sign I shouldn't be alive?

I heard a booming voice ask "What happened?". The voice reminded me off Emmett. Had Carlisle or Esme found me? Then that means one of them saw what just happened to me. I was both, greatful and ashamed.

Greatful that they got me away from that horrible person and ashamed they had to see what he was doing to me. I felt a cold liquid slash on my face and a small cold hand softly hit my cheek. Then I heard the last voice I thought would ever soothe me.

_Alice..._


	10. Chapter 10

**Alice's POV**

A frown graced my face when I heard Bella scream, "I hate you! I hate all of you!"

My bestfriend hated me, and I honestly and truely couldn't blame her. I broke down into tears on Jasper's lap. I was definately angery by what happened but I never wanted this to happen. Or to take thing this far. Hitting Bella was completely out of the question and even I didn't see it coming when Tanya decided to take things to a more physical level to get her revenge even though it wasn't her revenge to get.

Edward forgive Bella and was willing look past it all to be with her again, but Tanya had other ideas. No matter how much we threatened her and told her to back off she just wouldn't leave Bella alone. She completely crossed the line when she slapped her and it took everything in me not to rip her apart right then.

It didn't make things better or easier when Rosalie encouraged her. This put strain on everyones relationships. Emmett couldn't even look her in the eye and I didn't even want to go near her. Bella never did her anything, but she wouldn't be Rosalie if she wasn't jealous of every human being on Earth.

Taking Bella's diary had been her idea and Tanya couldn't wait to get her filthy hands on it.

After her ordeal with Bella and throwing her out, we nearly got into a fight. Couisins or not, I was more than willing kick her ass. Jecking the diary from her hands I left them in the living room.

I walked into the room Jasper and I shared and sat on the bed next to him. I felt so horrible for the pain I was causing him. No one except Rosalie and Tanya wanted to do this to Bella even thought they were upset by what she did to Edward.

Edward...

He told them not to do this to Bella, to let her rest but he was away hunting and when he was gone, Tanya taught she could do whatever she wanted. She actually thought Edward loved her, when he didn't even like her. I shook my head and I picked up Bella's diary and began reading where I left off.

If my heart was beating it would've stopped. I wish I could cry. All those things I let them do to her and it wasn't even her fault. I _am _a bitch... Oh my god! Bella!

I ran downstairs at inhuman speed but it still wasn't fast enough. Everyone in the living was asking me what happen and what did I see. It took alot to freak me out.

I opened the door but didn't see Bella. Suddenly a familiar scent hit me. It smelled delicious and made my thost burn. It was Bella. I knew I wouldn't be able to control myself so I held my breath and followed the trail of blood. It led me around the house, to the back. There I saw a man... and a girl.

No, not just a girl, but Bella.

"Hmmm... Isabella, your so tight." I heard the man whisper.

Tight? I saw his hands move up her body and cup her breast.

Who was this person? How did he get on our property? Was he her rapist?

I didn't have time to ponder these questions, even with my advanced mind. Bella was, like my vision, just lying there. This time she wasn't consious, but her cheeks were stained with tears, and her hair was matted to her head with blood.

Before I could comprehend what I was doing, I was standing over them, trembling with anger. The man must have sensed me behind him, because he turned around. I grabbed by his shirt and threw him of her. He must've flew ten feet before landing with a soft thud on the grass. He screamed like a girl the whole way there. I could've laughed, but I heard a barely audible groan from beside me. I looked down and saw Bella trying to get up. There was a puddle of blood between her legs and she looked to be in pain. Suddenly she let out and agonizing screech that made my sensitive ears hurt. She feel back to the ground, breathing hard.

I picked her up and carried her to the house. I would deal with that guy later, right now I had to call Carlisle.

When I got into the house, I told everyone to hold their breath. They were puzzled by why, but did as I asked. They all gasped when I brought in a motionless Bella.

"What happened?" Emmet asked.

"Go get me some cold water," I told him, trying to avoid the question.

He would only get angry if he found out Tanya and Rosalie was the cause of this, and this wasn't the time for fighting. We needed to help Bella. I slapped her face sotfly to try to wake her up, but it didn't work.

When Emmett returned with the water, I dumped it on her face and let out a sob when she didn't open her eyes.


	11. Chapter 11

**Bella's POV**

I heard a faint beeping noise and slowly opened my eyes to a bright light. As my vision became clear I realized I was in Carlisle's study, lying on a a soft cushion.

"Bella, how do you feel?" a voice asked me. I looked around and saw Carlisle next to me. Beside him was Esme.

"My head hurts." I answered. He nodded.

"You have seven stitches in the back of your head." he told me.

"Bella, what happened?" Esme asked, while taking my hand. I closed my eyes for a moment trying to clear my head and figure out how to talk again.

"Tanya," I heard Carlisle say. Where was she?

"I'm so sorry Bella." Alice? I haven't heard her voice sound so caring in so long.

"I'm sorry for everything." she apologized. Was this a joke? Did Carlisle and Esme make her do this?

"Bella, can you sit up?" Carlisle asked. I nodded and slowly sat up with his help.

"What do you want?" I asked Alice with a glare.

"I swear I didn't know... None of us did. I thought you wanted him to..." she trailed off in a whisper.

I looked at her for a long moment. She better not ask for forgiveness. After all Tanya did to me and she just let her. She was supposed to be my sister and bestfriend and this is how she treats me? Not even asking for my side of the story, just assuming. I thought she knew me better than that.

I could honestly understand her being angry that it happened like that and even that she saw it the wrong way but she had absolutely no right to be so cruel.

She still had that expression on her face. That expression that made me hate her even more... pity. I didn't care if she really was sorry. There was no way I would welcome anyone of them back with open arms.

I turned away. I didn't want to look at her. It made me sick to me stomach.

"Will you please forgive me?" she asked.

My breathing came hard and my fist balled, then I flipped out.

"How _dare _you!" I screamed. "After all she put me through _now _you care?" I was ready to jump off the bed and attack her, but Carlisle held me back, telling me to calm down.

I was so mad I didn't even notice the machine next to me had picked up speed.

"For the way I've treated you; I don't deserve your friendship." she said and walked out.

I wasn't sure if she just wanted me to feel sorry for her, but that guilt trick wasn't working.

"Can I go home?" I asked Carlisle. I know Charlie didn't want me back at the house with him, but I'd rather live in my truck again than live in a house with Tanya, my ex-boyfriend and my ex-bestfriend.

"I recommend you have to let those stitches heal first. That'll be at the most two or three days." Carlisle answered. I sighed and laid back down. That meant having to look at Tanya and all the other Cullens. This was going to be a long few three days.

Charlie's POV

Two days later

It's been an entire two weeks without Bella and not one word from her. I was beyond worried.

I knew that the first people she would go to are the Cullens. I just hope that boy isn't forcing her to do things she doesn't want to do. I would break his neck.

The phone rang and I rushed to recieve it, hoping it to be Bella and praying she was alright.

I answered the phone and sighed. On the other line was Bella's principal, Mr. Massey.

"Hello, Chief Swan. This is principal Massey. I'm sorry to disturb you but I was wondering if there was anything wrong with Bella," he stated.

Wrong with Bella? Was our fight interfering with her school work?

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"Well Miss Swan hasn't been to school in a few days and I was wondering if she was hurt."

Bella, not going to school? That wasn't like her. This had better not be that boy's doing.

"Ummm... Bella isn't here at the moment," I shut my eyes tight. I shouldn't have said anything.

"Did she move back to her mother's? If so I'll have to take her out of roll," he said.

"No, that won't be nessacary. She's living with... her boyfriend and his family," I told him. There was a pause on the other side of the phone.

"Oh, I see. Is he the reason she hasn't been to school?" He was starting to get nosy and I was starting to get annoyed pretty quickly.

"I'm not sure. This is the first I've heard of Bella not being at school when she was supposed to, but I will get to the bottom of it. The Cullens are good people," I exclaimed.

"Cullens? When you said Bella's boyfriend, you were referring to Edward Cullen?" he asked.

What was this, 20 Questions?

"Yes. Is there a problem?" I mentally kicked myself. Why am I staying on the phone longer than I need to? Quick Charlie think of something to get off the phone.

"Well there are some students that have been talking about these new students and the Cullens. One of them is dating Edward now,"

What? I hung up the phone without another word and dailed the Cullens. Dr. Cullen answered the phone.

"Hello?"

I hated to be rude, but I had to find my daughter.

"Where is Bella?" I yelled into the phone, while grabbing my keys.


	12. Chapter 12

_**ATTENTION:THERE WILL BE A VERY IMPORTANT MESSAGE AT THE END OF THIS CHAPTER SO PLEASE READ IT! **_

**Bella's POV**

I heard the door to my 'hospital room' open and sighed. I automatically knew it was Alice. I looked towards the door and sure-nough there she was standing in the doorway.

"Bella, please. I want my sister back." She pleaded. It was the same thing over and over again for the past two weeks. Whether it was 'I miss you' or 'I swear I didn't know', she continued to beg for forgiveness. Did she not realize it was making me even more angry? I turned away from her, not even bothering to tell her to go away. She should get the message.

"Alice," I heard Carlisle say. "leave Bella alone." I heard light footsteps leave the room and heavier footsteps approah me. They were to clumsy to belong to a Cullen. I turned and saw Charlie standing there. He looked awful. His hair looked as if he hadn't washed it in days and he had dark circles under his eyes. He looked worried. Was I cause of this?

"Bella," he whispered and pulled me into a hug. It's been awhile since I really felt loved; I forgot how good it felt.

"I love you." I said without even thinking. It was really how I felt. I got so caught up in the moment.

"I love you too, Bells." he told me. When we finally pulled away from each other I noticed Charlie was crying. The cheif of Forks, who has seen dead bodies, crying because he is reunited with his daughter.

"Are you gonna come back home?" he asked after wiping away a few tears.

"You want me to live with you again?" I asked in disbelief. He looked confused.

"Yes. Ofcourse I do." he said almost shocked. "Why wouldn't I?" I looked at him along moment then smiled and shook my head.

"Nevermind," I told him. I had forgotten Carlisle was in the room unitl he spoke.

"I think your good to go home Bella." he told me.

"Wait," Charlie said, tone almost angry. "What are you doing on a hospital bed?" he asked. I stared at him, searching for a good enough answer. Nothing came to mind. then realizeation hit me. Why do I need to protect Alice? She did nothing but hurt me.

"Alice," I stated. his eyebrows pulled together and he sat down next to me.

"Alice? What did Alice do?" he asked. Alice was his favorite Cullen. She was like his daughter, but he would pick me over her any day... I hope.

"She made me hit my head," I told him hesitating. Even though it was the truth, I wanted it to believeable. Besides, now can a 4'' 5' girl pick up a 5'' 10' teenager without it looking unusual? That why I had to phase this correctly without risking telling Charlie the secret. Again not to protect Alice, I didn't give a damn about her or her brothers and sisters. It was to protect Carlisle and Esme. I love them and they would never hurt me.

"How did she do that?" he asked. I opened my mouth, but wasn't planning on saying anything. I looked at Carlisle with pleading eyes; he knew.

"Charlie i think that's enough for today. We don't want to make her dizzy." Carlisle said. I honestly felt fine. I was about to open my big, stupid mouth again until I realized that it was the lie to keep Charlie from finding out the truth. Charlie nodded and Esme escorted me to my room and helped me pack.

"Everything is going to be fine," she told me after we finished putting everything in my bags. She had done most of it moving aroubd the room faster than I could comprehend. I felt so stupid for trying to keep up with her and only making myself dizzy. I thought I was going to be sick.

I gave Esme and Carlisle a good-bye hug and thanked them for everything. And I really meant it. They were there for me and stood by my side when no one else would. Even when they thought I did cheat.

"We'll always be here if you need anything Bella," Carlisle reminded me.

"And we love you." Esme joined. "_All _of us." I knew she meant the whole family but that was really hard to believe. It was obvious she understood that I felt or would feel that way by the way she smiled at me and didn't push me into forgiving anyone that mistreated me. I didn't say anything to respond to what she said, but I did ask them not to tell Edward about any of this. I didn't to hear any sorries from him. I didn't even want to see his face.

"We'll try out best to keep it ourselves." Carlisle told me. I nodded and got into the car with Charlie.

_**Ok so that was shorter than I thought it would turn out. So how did you like it? I thought it was boring but I needed to get that part out of the way with out making the story to fast paced. So are you ready to find out what your surprise is? :) Here goes: And Extra long chapter in Edward's POV of the entire story, starting from the club scene and Bella's rape. I'm working on it and so far I've wrtten a lot. I don't know when I'll be posting it but it won't be anytime sooner than next week, but I'll try. It will also tell where Edward has been and why he isn't back yet in this chapter. There will be a lot of surprises in that chapter. :) BTW, I'm so proud of you guys! Your getting better! 148 reveiws, 8,091 hits, and 77 favs and alerts! Best story I've ever written!**_

_**Questions:**_

_**1) Do you like your surprise? What do you think will happen in it? Tell me eveything! I love hearing you ideas. And maybe I'll use them, with your permission ofcourse.**_

_**2.)Are you happy with Bella nd Charlie making up?**_

_**3.)Do you think Bella should've stay with the Cullens?**_

_**4.) Do you think she should atleast forgive Emmett and/or Jasper?**_


	13. Chapter 13

_**I knew I said this was going to be a chapter of the entire story but that would've took me longer and I really didn't want to leave you guys waiting and rick losing my audience so... yeah. Here chapter 13. :)**_

**Edward's POV**

**Chapter 2 **

I was trying to pay attention to the dicussion but it was very difficult with Irina's and Kate's voices screaming in my head. Tanya is my cousin and they besides, I have a girlfriend. I smile when I heard Alice think the same. I couldn't help but smile like an idiot when she meantioned checking up on Bella. It's amazing how happy she made me and my family.

That smile left as fast as it came when I saw Alice's vision. How could she? I thought she loved me.

_I'm sorry._ Alice thought. I nodded tho I knew it wasn't her fault. She didn't make Bella do this.

In a strange way, I'm glad she had that vision. Now I knew. Then again I guess this was a good thing... for her. She finally sound someone actually worthy of her and not just another pretty face. Someone that's not putting her in danger every second he is with her. Someone that can give her the family she deserves.

I'm not mad at Bella. I'm happy for her, but I will always love her. And she is the only thing keeping me from killing myself. I made a promise to her I wouldn't do such actions.

The voices of Kate and Irina filled my head again, but louder this time. Screaming at me to ask Tanya to dance. I looked at Tanya. She still had she head in her hands. I was the only one of my family that knew she wasn't really hurting. I knew because she slipped up once trying not to think about it. she was faking to get with me. Maybe I should ask her to dance if she's that desprate, and to get Irina and Kate off my back.

I walked over to Tanya and her head shot up. I tried to put on a smile, hoping it wouldn't come out as a grimace.

"Would you like to dance?" I asked politely. Almost immediately she took my hand and lead me to the dancefloor. She was doing a happy dance in her head. Suddenly the song change and Tanya began dry humping me. She then turned around and began shaking her behind in my groin area. I can honestly say it wasn't turning me on. It was then that I noticed her choice in attire.

Her red tank top stopped six or seven inches pass her bust line and just above her navel. I showed a lot of her cleavage. Her breast were in my face almost the whole while. Her miniskirt stopped mid thigh and everytime she took at step it lifted just enough to see that she was wearing a thong. The skirt didn't help at all to cover anything now that she was bending over with her butt in the air.

I looked over to my family and to my surprise they were all staring with shocked expressions. Irina and Kate were giggling and whispering to each other about my facial expression. They knew she was going to do this and that pissed me off.

Most of the people in the club were staring at us. The men were staring at Tanya, wishing they were me. If they wanted her; be my guest. I have-... _had _someone better than her. I sighed and walked back to my table.

A few men had taken my place, but Tanya didn't seem to have noticed.

Everyone was still worring when we got back to the house since I hadn't said a word since Alice had the vision. Alice was furious and already plotting her revenge for a situation that had nothing to do with her.

"Alice please stay out of this. I can handle this myself." I told her once we were alone, my room.

"No Edward!" Alice screamed. "She cheated and your just going to forgive her like that? No!" I heard a gasp come from downstairs. Great, now everyone knew what happened.

"Alice," I started, trying not to raise my voice. "As long as she is happy I-" But she cut me off before I could finish.

"Edward you are so old fashioned! This is the 21 ceuntry! Get with the freakin' program! Your supposed to be pissed off!" She yelled. I didn't say anything; I was busy thinking.

In a way, she was right. I should be angry, but I couldn't find it in me to hate Bella. I love her too much. Alice knew that and sighed, then pinched the bridge of her nose.

"Edward listen to me. You and Bella have been together for almost two years now." She said. My eyes got weary; I knew where she was going with this. She wanted me to just as mad at Bella as she was. Why? I couldn't figure that out, even with my gift. "You two are supposed to be soulmates but she cheated." I could hear her voice rising and lowering awkardly as a precaution to stay calm.

She didn't need to go on for me to know what she was going to say, but again, she was right. Bella was supposed to be my wife, but she didn't even have the decenty to tell me she didn't want to be with me anymore or even tell me she was ready for a physical relationship for that matter, not that I would allow it in the first place.

This _did_ make me angry.

I couldn't help but wonder; was she going to tell me about her affair? This made me _more _angry. I snorted as I remembered her words, telling me to go have fun. I bet she just wanted me to go so she could have her "fun". How long has this even been going on for anyways? And why hasn't Alice seen anything like this before? How long was she going to keep leading me on? Was this funny to her? _Who _the hell was she doing it with?

When I came from out a daze I hadn't knew I was in, Alice was still there staring at me irritated expression, but I ignored her. That is until I heard what she was thinking.

Using Tanya to make Bella jealous was a plan that was sure to work. Only because Bella thinks I would choose Tanya over her. It was silly of her to think such a thing. Tanya could never turn me on the way Bella does. She was just another shallow, pretty face. But Bella, on the other hand, was a beautiful, selfless, _human _being. And one of those three things was the reason we shouldn't be together. I was too dangerous for her.

"Maybe she should learn a lesson." Alice said with a smirk. I shook my head and rolled my eyes. I wanted no part in hurting Bella and was positive Carlisle and Esme wouldn't approve of her doing it either. "Come on Edward, you don't have to hit her or anything. Just pretend you and Tanya are together now. If Bella saw that, then she wouldn't feel so gulity for not telling you she doesn't love you anymore." She exclaimed. I flinched at her last few words. It hurt to think Bella didn't love anymore after all we'd been through.

Was I going crazy or Alice was saying was starting to make a littlesense? I mean if Bella has moved on then why shouldn't I? Maybe and hopefully it would rid of some of the pain. I knew for a fact it all wouldn't be gone but it was worth a shot. I nodded once and Alice smiled.

"I can't wait!" She squealed. "Rose, Tanya. We have work to do!" She yelled to them and disappeared into her room with Rosalie and Tanya right on her heels.

_**Questions:**_

_**1.) Are you surprised by Edward's reaction?**_

_**2.)What do you think of Tanya's performance?**_

**Chapter 3**

"Ok, so you rememebr the plan right?" Alice asked Tanya and I. We both nodded in union. Tanya giggled and rolled my eyes. She thought it was a sign we belonged together. I thought she was smart enough to know that no one can replace Bella. No one would ever be good enough.

We were standing next to my Volvo, three blocks from school, part of Alice's plan. Which I didn't like at all, but I already agreed and Alice would rip my head off if I backed out now. But she promised she wouldn't hit Bella, unlike in her orignial plan.

I could've gagged when she said part of the plan was to kiss Tanya. The only lips I've ever kissed were Bella's and it would be awkward to kiss Tanya since I wasn't in love with her.

"Make sure your listening to my thoughts when I give the signal." Alice damanded. I nodded unwillingly. "Great." She smiled, and turned and walked away.

Tanya and I got in my car a waited quietly, which I had no problem with. I actually liked it better that way but Tanya, ofcourse, broke the silence.

"So... Alice and I were thinking... about what we said about me staying longer." she told me. My head slowly turned in her direction. "Not for that long though." She quickly exclaimed. "Just so we can get to know each other in a more romantic way." I couldn't believe my ears. How could they plan this without me knowing or disscussing it with me first? But then again, I'd been in my own little world thinking of Bella, maybe they did say something about it.

_More _time with Tanya? This made me furious. Tho I didn't know why. Something about Tanya was off; she was acting unusal. She was hiding something. And she obiviously practiced hiding secrets in her her mind or I would've found out what it was.

We sat there for ten minutes when Alice finally gave the signal. I was reliefed. Tanya trying to make small talk was irritating, and very awkward since she was nervous. I tried to pay attention and look interested but I ignored her completely when she babbled into a conversation about sex. When I came to, she was talking about the plans Alice and Rosalie had for Bella. Again, I tuned out. But my head snapped in her direction when I heard the words 'Bella' and 'fight'.

I put the car in drive and sped to the school. Alice wouldn't dare hit Bella. She wouldn't stoop so low... would she?

I turned into the school parking lot and saw Bella on the ground and Alice looking in my direction with a stupid grin on her face. But in her mind I saw that she didn't hit her. Instead it was part of the plan to get me to the school on time to go along with the plan. Ofcourse she knew that I was actually going to purposely arrive late so we couldn't go through with the plan. This was what Tanya was hiding from me... but that's not the only thing. What else did Alice have planned? I tried to listen in on what she was thinking as I pulled into my usual parking space. But there was nothing else she had planned that I didn't already know of.

I put on a brave face and stepped out of the car. I tried to contain my excitement and happiness when I saw those big, chocolate brown eyes look at me. She looked shocked and I knew why. Bella knew how protective of I was of her and now I was acting as if she wasn't there.

I couldn't help but sneak a quick glance at her as I opened the car door for Tanya. I unwillingly looked away when Tanya pulled me along by the hand. I groaned in fustration. If only... But what kind of gentelmen what I be if I hit a woman... or a succubus.

Tanya didn't want me to look at Bella. She knew I loved Bella more than her. Actually I didn't love Tanya at all. She knew that too. But If only Bella knew that just as much as Tanya did, maybe we would still be together. Maybe that was the reason she cheated; she thought I loved Tanya.

I hated Tanya -at the moment- more than anything or anyone. More than myself even.

A smile spead across my face when I thought of an idea get one last glimse of Bella's beauitful face. I stopped dead on my tracks and turned around. "We'll see you guys later.'' I called to them, but was secretly staring at Bella. When Tanya pulled me forward again. I tried to look into the minds of my siblings or Kate and Irina, to see her face. I was so focused on Bella that I didn't realise what Tanya was thinking. I was suddenly pulled into a fierce kiss. Tanya put her hard, cold lips on mine and tried to push her tougne into my mouth, but I rejected. I didn't even like this what the hell made her think I would want her tougne in my mouth? I don't know where that thing has been.

She didn't think; she knew. She knew I didn't want her in that way but she hoped. Not only did she hope but she also intended on making Bella jealous.

_**OMJ! Help me! I was reading a story and forgot the name and forgot to favorite it. I need you guys help to find it! Please? It's a story about Bella and Edward, ofcourse, and it takes place in during Breaking Dawn. She gets pregnant and Edward tries to convince her to get rid of the baby. Then he forcefully gives her an abortion to save her life. And I think he does it. I didn't get far enough to know but please help! BTW I'll be writing a story sort of like the oneI'm looking for but it's different. Same plot but ends differently... You'll see. Soo... questions! Answer them! I'll post faster. **_

_**Questions:**_

_**1.) What do you think of Tanya in this part?**_

_**2.)What do you think she is hiding?**_

_**3.)What would be your happy ending if you were writing this story?**_

_**4.) Do you think I'm good at writing Edward's POV? I try really hard since he supposed to sound smart but I don't think I pull it off as good as SM could. It confusing with him since I'm only used to being in Bella's head.**_

_**Don't forget to look for the story and to tell me your ideas. One or two of you have already guessed of somethings I was going to do. Can you guess who?**_


	14. Chapter 14

_**I want to thank the people that helped me find the story I was looking for. :) You have no idea how much it means to me. Now about the story... Some people thought I should stick to Bella's POV. I couldn't agree with you more but there are some major parts in this story that need to be told in Edward's POV. So I'll have to stick to his for a while but I'll skip the boring crap and get straight to the point. Which is when Edward gets home. Don't worry you won't be missing out on anything. And I'll be sure to tell where he's really been. BTW I don't know when I'll be posting again since I have a research report to do for English class and that'll be taking up most of my time. But I always do my story writing in my classes so by the time I post the chapter MIGHT be long. And if not then I'll post two chapters in one day. But until then...Enjoy this one! :) Luv ya!**_

**Bella's POV**

Everything was going great with Charlie. But I had my own personal problems and things were horrible. I couldn't sleep at night and no matter what I did the pain wouldn't go away. The pain of knowing that I had nothing to live for. No one to love and nothing to do with my life. The only reason I haven't killed myself yet is because of Charlie and Renee. Charlie just got me back and after the condition he was in when I left, I knew I could leave him.

The alarm clock next to me went off and I hit the snooze button. Another sleepless night and another day at school. I sighed as I got out of bed.

I refused to look at myself as I passed the mirror, but I knew what I would see. I'd looked the same for the past three days; pale with dull, dry, lifeles hair. My eyes were bloodshot erd from not sleeping and dark circles were under them. My lips were so chapped that they were peeling. I looked terrible; I always did.

When I got to school, I saw Alice, Emmett, Jasper and Rosalie standing in my usual parking space. I would run right over them if it wouldn't hurt my truck. I, ofcourse, knew it wouldn't hurt them but I would make me feel atleast alittle better to try to hurts the ones that hurt me.

"What do you want?" I asked while getting out of my truck. I expected Alice to step forward and try to talk me into atleast talking to her again but instead Rosalie was the one.

"Bella, I really need to talk to you," She told me. I knew she felt bad for calling me those names but there was something different... something different in the her tone of voice and the way she looked at me. It was more than her just feeling sorry. It was as if she _understood._ Understood what I was going through and how I felt. I didn't know what to say to her and I didn't protest as she hauled me away.

She lead me to her car and told the other Cullens not to follow. There was an awkward silence as I waited for her to begin. I didn't get an attitude at her for making me wait because I felt that what she was going to tell me was a delicate situation that I shouldn't rush her into.

Finally she began...

"Did Edward ever tell you the story of hhow I was changed?" she asked not looking up from her fingers. I shook my head, alittle perplexed. "Figures. Edward always did respect others privacy," she said.

"Rosalie... I don't know where your going with this but-" she cuff me off.

"Bella, I know what your going through,"

I stared at her, dumbfound.

Rosalie told me the story of how she once _thought _she was in love. And how everything quickly turned for the worst one night when walking home.

"I'm sorry," I told Rosalie while walking to the school building. The bell to go to homeroom rung fifteen minutes ago during the time Rosalie was still taking her story. Everyone was probably was already in second period.

"You have nothing to be sorry about," she exclaimed, walking ahead of me.

I suddenly stopped dead on on my tracks when I came to realization. She nust have heard my footsteps stop because she turned around.

"Bella, are you okay?" she asked. I didn't respond. I just looked down. "Should I go get the nurse?" I shook my head.

"I forgive you," I told her, looking up in her eyes. A smile spead acrosss her face and she pulled me into a hug.

**Edward's POV**

I rolled my eyes as Tanya grabed my hand and lead me towards the house. I was finally home from Alaska.

I was oringally only supossed to go to hunting but Tanya dragged me to her home, which I hoped she would be going back to soon. i was still pissed off at her for trying to _actually _have sex with me when we were only supposed to to be pretending.

The thoughts of my family members clouded my head, but they were all coming so fast I couldn't understand them. I could only understand bits and pieces. They were about Bella and... another man.

Alice opened the door as we approached the house. Her expression was sorrow filled. Tanya danced into the house and up to my room, expecting me to follow. Little did she know I would be putting out soon as I decided to go up there.

"Edward... something happen..." Esme started. My eyesbrows pulled together in confusion. Then my eyes bulged and my lips formed and 'o' shape. I couldn't believe it. How could Alice and I have made such a huge mistake?

"Who... did this?" I asked. At this point, I was ready to explode. Why? Because I was angry. Angry at Alice for only seeing part of the vision. Angry at Bella's rapist for hurting her. Angry at myself, ofcourse, for letting Alice take control, for not talking to Bella about the situation and hurting probably more than her rapist did. I'm a disgustiing monster.

"I know where he is," Alice told me. I clenched my jaw. Alice wanted to kill him _almost _as much as I did, but was saving him for me to take care of.

I looked at her and nodded. "Bring him to me alive," I told her. I hated to sound so cliche but it was the truth. I didn't want to kill him with him knowing what happened to him. I want him to suffer and I knew just how.

**Alice's POV**

I followed the familiar scent to an old shack located on the other end of town, which confused me. Why would this man go out of his way to find Bella?I shook my head. I didn't have time to debate this. My mission here was to get him to Edward with out killing him. Which will be hard to do since I want to rip his damn head off.

I didn't want to go about this all wrong and have him screaming to the top of his lungs the whole while to the manison, so I walked up to the door and lightly knocked.

The door swung open and there stood a man that looked to be in his late 20's. His eyes were bloodshot red and his breath smelled of alcohol. Except for his being drunk, he looked innocent and I would've believed he was if I hadn't known better.

Behind him were two other men. One was sitting in a reclining chair and the other was laying on the couch across from him. They both were passed out, probably from drinking.

A mischievous look spead onto the man's face.

"Can I help you beautiful?" he asked, while taking a swig out his beer bottle.

I welcomed a grimace to my lips then remembered I was supposed to look angelic. I put on a fake smile and prepy attitude.

"Hello, I'm Alice. And I was wondering if you had the time to take a survey," I stated.

He stared at me for a few moments, trying to register what it was I was saying. I rolled my eyes, and I was sure he was too intoxicated to notice.

Finally, he blinked a few times, coming from his daze. And that stupid look returned as he did.

"Why ofcourse," he said, stepping out of the house and shutting the door behind him. "A walk in the woods?" he asked.

I couldn't help but laugh. He laughed too, but most likely becuase he thought he it was cute. Did he really think he was charming?

We walked for a few minutes in silence, when suddenly, he grabbed my arm and turned me around. I saw this coming ,ofcourse, half way through the walk and was perpared.

I grabbed him by the hair and ran full speed toward the house.

_**So I thought that Alice's POV was sort of lame but that's just me. **_

_**Okay, I know it took me a long tine to post but you gotta understand I've been busy lately. I have school work, art class, chores, and at the moment I'm working on three stories at once. So I took a day to myself, but I deserved it... right?Anyways, I have a new story and it won't be coming out for a while and so I'll tell you the plot...**_

_**During new moon. Bella and Edward have sex on the day of her birthday and he leaves after what happened with Jasper at the party. She gets pregnant and then 16 years later she is turned by a vampire and she everyone thinks she went missing by she really was going through her change. They can't find her and since her son and daughter are still minors they need a gardian. Charlie died. And on they're birth card Bella put Edward Cullen as they're father. They track down the cullens and tell Edward what happen. Then one day Bella shows up they're door step looking for her children...**_

_**What do you think? I'm working on a better summary.**_

_**Questions:**_

_**1.) What do you think Edward should do to Bella's rapist?  
2.)What did you think of Alice's POV?  
**_


	15. Chapter 15

_**Thanks you for the reviews and you've really made me happy now that I know I still have most of my readers even after the long periods of time between updates. :) BTW 210 reviews, 13,854 hits, and 94 favs and alerts! This is by far my most popular story. Oh and I meant to ask you as one of the questions what you thought of the summary for my new story so I'll put at the end of this one. :) Enjoy. **_

**Edward's POV**

I was in my room thinking of ways to began my tortue when Alice arrived with our victim.

"He's here," Emmett told me. Werid how I was completely obilivious to her thoughts when my mind was eslewhere.

I walked down the stairs and saw Alice beating the hell out of Bella's rapist. I ran to her and pulled her off him. She wasn't hiting him nearly as hard as she could or wanted to but a few more hit and there would have been blood everywhere.

I threw him the basement and locked the door. Everyone stared at me puzzled.

"I want him sober when I get to work on him." I explained. They nodded in unison.

In the morning he would have a hangover and I'll be sure to make it his worst one yet. But hat's just the beginning. It gets _much _worst.

**Bella's POV **

"Miss Swan?"

My head snapped in the direction my name was called. I looked to see looking at me.

"Uh?" I asked stupidly. That had the whole class laughing. I looked down blushing. This wasn't the first time I got caught daydreaming. Last time was in Mrs. Wilbert's class and she made sure to embarrass me by trying to make a smart remark but no one laughed when she did it.

The teacher was still trying to calm the class down but when the prinicpal stepped in the class suddenly got quiet.

"Get in here," prinicpal Massey ordered. Everyone's attention was at the door; anxious to see who it was in trouble. Half of the class snorted; unsurprised that it was Kyle Smith. There was nothing new about him getting sent to the prinical's office. He was the class clown.

He slowly walked in and up to the teacher. He handed him a slip and waited patiently as signed it.

"Sit next to Ms. Swan," told him. I was about to raise my hand to let him know who I was but he already started making his way towards me.

", may I speak to you?" prinicpal Massey asked. Kyle sat next to me as the teacher stepped out. Suddenly my breath quicken and my hands started to tremble. He must've noticed.

"Are you okay?" he asked. I looked at him and nodded.

"Fine," I said, barely able to speak.

Something about his features stopped me from looking away. He had ocean blue eyes and his spiky blond hair was dyed black at the tips. No wonder he grabed everyone's attention. No one would dare make a fashion statement such as this one.

Suddenly an idea came to me. I turned to him and asked "Where do you get your hair done?"

He blinked and his eyes widen. probably because he wasn't expecting anyone to really care. He cleared his throat before talking again.

"Ummm... Port Angeles," he told me. "I can... show you if you want." He seemed sort of nervous, which eased my worry alittle.

"Yeah... sure. Thanks." I said with a smile. He nodded once and turned his attention back to the front of the room.

For some reason I couldn't help but smile. What was this I was feeling?

_**Short, I know but I haven't been able to work on it plus I'm on punishment again. :( That means to goiong out with friends, no iPod, and no computer. Just me and my thoughts. *Sigh* I hate this. Post when I can. Luv ya!**_

_**Questions: **_

_**1.)What do you think Edward should do to Bella's rapist leading to the climax?**_

_**2.)What do you think Bella is planning to do with her image? She changing but in what ways do you think she is or should?**_

_**3.)What is it you think Bella is feeling for Kyle? Just friendship? **_

_**4.)Do you want Bella and Edward together now that you know how Edward really felt?**_

_**5.)What do you think og the character Kyle? He's a real person and one of my best friends. :)**_

_**6.) What do you think of the summary for my new story? (Summary in last chapter)**_


	16. Chapter 16

_**Sorry it took so long but I wanted to finally make a long chapter. Enjoy! :)**_

**Bella's POV**

After school Kyle and I drove down to Dead Spots, the place he gets his hair done. The car ride there was sort of awkward since he kept asking me questions that made no sense at all. If was as if he was nervous. But there was no way he could be nervous around _me_. I've seen him hang out with the coolest people in school and he's never acted that way. It was odd but I shrugged it off.

"So what are we doing?" the hairdresser, Lisa, asked. I looked in the mirror infront of me and stared at my reflection, turning my head from side to side. I must have sat there for fifteen minutes before I answered her. But not once did she rush me, nor did she make any sign that she was annoyed. Nice people.

"I want it cut... alittle past the shoulder." I finally replied. Her eyebrows raised.

"That's it?" she asked, playing with my hair alittle. Probably to see how she'll cut it.

I thought for a moment. I thought about Edward and how much he claimed to love everything about me. I snorted and shook my head. I wanted to change. I wanted to be the opposite of what he 'loved' about me.

"I wanna dye it black... maybe some red highlights too." I told her, a little unsure about the highlights. I wanted something different but I also wanted to look good and what better way then a hairdresser's point of veiw.

She looked alittle impressed.

"Okay," she stated and got to work.

**Edward's POV**

The next morning Alice and Emmett were banging at my door. They couldn't wait to get started on the torture. I wasn't at all suprised that their expressions were excited and angry all at the same time. And I could honesty say I was a little excited myself. This guy deserved everything that was coming to him, which was _alot_.

He was just waking up when we got down to the basement and Alice, being annoying as always, clapped her hands loudly. Emmett smiled and soon joined in by stomping around in heavy hiking boots. Alice stopped and pulled his head up by his hair.

"Who are you?" she screamed into his ear. I laughed at his confusion. He was so hungover he thought it was his buddies playing a trick on him, and he was getting pissed. His hands were covering his ears and his head was pounding. He screamed for us to stopped but instead Alice screamed the same question into his ear.

"Greg!" he shouted over and over again hoping for us to stop. Sucks to be him because we weren't going to.

I let Alice and Emmett have their fun for awhile until I finally stopped them and prepared for the real torture. Emmett smirked and went to get the chainsaw and Alice set off to find gas and some matches. I, on the other hand, strapped Greg to a metal table. I rolled the table right under a tall mirror which I had installed the night before. I want him to watch as I dismember him. I'll have to hold my breath. It's going to be a blood bath. Maybe afterward I'll let Emmett clean up the mess and have what's left... if there is any.

"Who the hell are you?" he asked, struggling to get loose. It was a useless attempt.

I leaned over him, making sure he knew the face of the man that was going to be the death of him and answered, "Death."

His eyes widened and he turned his head forward, staring into the mirror. He looked at my choice of weapons: chainsaw, scaple, scissors, gasoline, and matches. A tear formed in the corner of his eyes and rolled down the side of his face.

In his mind he was saying his prayers. Praying to god his soul to keep. Apolpgizing and scared out off his mind. How dare he pray after the sins he has committed.

"First, I'll start off by cutting off your eyelids," I said. "Your going to watch it all."

"No..." he cried. "I'm sorry, for whatever I did." I lauged in his face and picked up the scissors.

"It's a little too late for that." I told him.

I sliced his lids off slowly, making sure he felt it. I then went into deeper detail of the things I'll do to him. First his little prick, the cause of Bella's hurt. Then his legs and arms. Lastly his head. This was going to be the most fun I've had in awhile.

**Bella's POV**

Lisa spun the chair around and revealed to me my new look. I couldn't help but smile at my reflection. I didn't think it would turn out this good. No wonder Kyle kept smiling at me. I looked amazing!

"Well, do you like it?" Lisa asked hopfully. Did she not see the expression on my face?

"I love it!" I said. She smiled and clapped her hands together. I got up from the chair and looked at Kyle. I wanted to know what he thought of it. Did he like it? Or did he love it?

"You look great," he told me. I bit my bottom lip. Not the answer I was looking for. "I love it," he reassured. I smiled from ear to ear. But I wasn't done just yet. I wanted to make a few other changes but wasn't sure how Kyle would react to it. I didn't want to take it too far.

"Ummmm... do you know a good tattoo shop?" I asked once we were out the door and in my truck. He didn't say anything at first and I started to worry. Then he answered, "I have a friend that owns one. Since your a friend of mine I'm sure he'll give you a discount or maybe even for free."

I really didn't know what to say. We haven't known each other for five hours and I felt like this was the beginning of a special friendship. Cliche, I know. But also true.

"You're awesome, you know that?" I told him. He just looked down and smiled. In school he was the bad boy, the bad influence. Everyone thought they him all figured out. I heard all the stories: he came from a broken home, he doesn't have a home, he runs the streets at night, his mother is on drugs, or his mother died. But once you had a chance to hang out with him, he's a mystery all over again because then you know that none of it is true. Maybe he's a bad boy with a heart of gold. Whatever he is, he's nothing like what anyone at school thought.

When we got to the tattoo parlor Kyle was greeted by several people with names I couldn't pronounce. We made it to the back and there I saw a man sitting in a chair with his feet up, reading a sports magazine. He wore glasses and had tattoos up and downs his arms. His hair was cut short, almost like a buzz cut. I had to admitt. I was a good look on him and he looked kind of cute with it.

"Hey Austin, my girlfriend wants tat and your the best I know," Kyle told him. It took me a moment to realize that he was refering to me when he said girlfriend and I blushed beet red. He thought we were together? I wasn't sure but I wasn't about to correct him. I didn't have a problem with the idea of being Kyle's girlfriend... I actually kindof like it. It felt nice to have possibilities. The possibilities of having a normal boyfriend to go to the beach with, makeout with, have kids with... but I was getting ahead of myself.

Austin closed his magazine, stood up, and smiled. He didn't seem at all as mean as he looked.

"Anything for my best man," he said. His voice reminded me of Emmett but a not as deep. "Just step into my office," he told us, gestering to a chair surrounded by needles and jars with colors that varied.

I sat down in a chair that reclined and Austin sat in a stoll next to me.

"What do you waht a picture off?" he asked, while taking out a pencil and sheet of paper.

I already knew what I wanted. A colorful sun placed around my navel. The rays would be a red-orange and a piercing would be perfect to go with it. But I wasn't stopping there. I was planning on also getting a tougne, nose, and another ear piercing.

The Edward I thought I knew would freak if he knew I got a tattoo or piercing.

I could really get used to the idea of rebelling against everything Edward wanted.

_**Okay so it took me forever to write this and it wasn't as long as you hoped but now I'm posting so be happy. I'll admit I took a break from writing but I sort of got bored with writing this and that why I'm starting the new one. I be posting it when I write the first few chapters. :) I have no questions for you except: What do you think of what Bella's doing to her image? This time I want you to ask me a question. Anthing you want and I MIGHT answer it. If it will ruin the twist ending then no but you never know maybe I'll give you a hint of what's going to happen. It's the least I could do for keeping you waiting for so long.**_


	17. Chapter 17

_**ANSWERS TO REVIEW QUESTIONS: I got a review from Elizabellalove who asked if she can know what's gonna happen next.  
•The hint has something to do with Kyle and is below.**_

I couldn't help but laugh at one review. It said: A tongue ring? How will she kiss people?  
•Well Lisa, I can you that you can still kiss with a tongue ring and besides the only person she'll be kissing is Kyle. ;)

My next question is from Krazikeo and It read: Did Kyle say that [Bella was his girlfriend] so she could get that tat for free?  
•I can honestly say that I won't be completely sure until I type that chapter, which is next. But I can tell you that there is a 90% chance that he'll say that it was just for the free tat but he really does like her... I don't wanna get too much into detail and ruin it. But good question. :)

NavyBrat4 wants to know: Can we please kill Edward and Alice?

•Of course not! Okay... I'll admit I may have made them look like the bad guys and I regret that. So please, I want everyone to answer one question. And I will not post the next chapter until I get 5 or more answers from different readers. What should Edward do to get Bella back?

SillyLilly14 asked: Will Bella get back with Edward and forgive the Cullens?  
•I really can't tell you for two reasons. One, that'll spoil the story and two, I don't know. Sometimes I would have the whole story planned out but then I'll twist it up to make it more dramatic or if I don't like it. So I can't be sure.  
  
**Bella's POV**

When I got to school the next morning, all eyes were on me and my new arm candy. No one could believe my new look nor that I moved on from Edward so fast... and I didn't blame them. Edward and I were inseparable. But that was then and thus is now. And right now, I'm with Kyle, and loving every second.

"Bella?"

I looked in the direction my name was called and saw Mike standing there dumbfounded.

"You look... amazing." he said, seizing me up and down. Kyle took me by the hand and pulled me away. And I couldn't help but laugh. Seeing Kyle jealous was cute.

But he couldn't blame Mike for looking. He always had a crush on me and my new outfit Kyle helped me pick out was a lot more revealing than what I usually wore. I was surprised I actually had a figure under all those baggy clothes.

"Relax," I told Kyle once we were alone behind the school building. "You know I would never go for Mike," I laughed.

He realized I was right and half smiled. He was really quiet shy once you gotten a chance to talk to him.

"Yeah, but... your mine and I don't want that Cullen boy to take you. I've had my heart-" I cut him off.

"Edward Cullen is nothing to me anymore. He's a complete jackass... I just really wish I didn't have to see his face anymore," I explained, serious now.

Kyle's face straightened and he pulled me into a hug. It was the first sign of affection I've had from someone other than my dad in a long time. It made me feeling wanted but not quiet belonged. What I was looking for was love and this isn't what I thought it would feel like. Kyle made me happy but when I as I hugged him, it felt like I was hugging my brother.

In that moment, I realized, he wasn't the one. Nor were we meant to be a couple even just for our remaining high school years. Instead he was here to comfort me in my time of need I just wish I could tell him that without breaking his heart. I didn't want to lead him on.

"Kyle there's something I need to say..." I started.

I wanted to say it but the look he was giving me made it hard. His big, blue eyes stared at me intently, just waiting. I opened my mouth to say something but a entirely different sentence came out.

"I love you,"

His eyes widened.

_**Okay very short but I've been really busy editing the chapters in this story and working on my other one. I'll post once I go over it all and find that it's good enough. I really hope you like it. :) Don't forget to answer the questions! :)**_

_**Questions:**_

1.) What do you think Kyle is going to say?  
2.)What do you want Kyle to say?  
3.)What should Edward do to get Bella back?_**  
**_


	18. Chapter 18

_**Yay! I'm finally posting! Sorry, again! I won't use excused this time because I know they'll bore you so here's chapter 18. :) Also check out a really amazing story called 'No Such Thing As Love' by DangerousAndBeautiful. And also her other story 'Stranded'. They're both Twilight. And 'Finding me' by Lil Red Rocker. :) Don't forget to read my new story!  
**_

**Bella's POV**

After a few awkward moments he finally replied.

"Ummm... Bella? I really don't know... how to respond to that.."

My eyebrows pulled together and I had to take a step back to really look at him.

"What do you mean you don't know how to respond? Don't you love me?" I asked, both relieved and hurt. Relieved because now I didn't have to hurt him. Hurt because now I knew that if Kyle didn't love me, no one would. I knew it was wrong of me to want someone to love me without me even wanting to be with them but I felt better that way... God, I am so selfish.

"Yeah, as a sister." he quickly explained.

My mouth dropped open and I felt a few tears come to my eyes.

"But-but what about all that stuff you said about you getting your heartbroken before?" I asked, hoping to catch him in a lie.

He shook his head.

"I didn't want you to get hurt." he said. He was avoiding looking me in the eyes and I knew why. I felt bad for doing this to him. I didn't even have real feelings for him and yet here I was crying like I got my heart broken... again. And he is just as afraid of tears as Charlie is. What does this make me? I'm already a slut for giving my virginity away to a total stranger and now I'm a bitch who just can't seem to catch a break to at least try to get her life back in order.

"I'm sorry," I told him, wiping away tears. "I really hope we can be friends." God knows I need one. Rosalie had been kind towards me and I forgave her for what she did but I couldn't let my guard down with her. Not with Edward being able to hear her every thought; she might slip up. And the last thing I needed was for Edward to know how pathetic my life really had become without him.

"Of course Bella," he said like it was the most obvious thing. "Your the coolest person I know." That made me feel better; enough to get a smile out of me, which strangely only happened when I was around him. I hoped this friendship lasted a long time. This could be my ticket to healing.

**Edward's POV**

Greg's screaming brought in the audience of my family. They were all glad to watch and held their breath as they did so. I was most surprised when Carlisle and Esme came also, but they left shorty after their arrival. Something in there thoughts saying it was too gruesome. I didn't blame them really. For centuries they grown accustom to being loving and compassionate towards humans. Carlisle's job was to help saves lives and it was like torture for him to sit there and watch as I dismembered my victim as he cried out for someone to help him. He could've stopped me, not that I actually would've, but he knew Greg deserved everything I planned to do to him.

I had started the chainsaw and was getting ready to cut off his right leg when Tanya burst through the doors, curious to what all the yelling was about and why she smelled blood. I thought she would've knew by now but Alice's thoughts told me she had just came back from shopping.

She looked at Greg and gasped, eyes wide with horror. I didn't get what her problem was at first, since she had killed more than a few humans in her day, but just assumed that she didn't expect to catch me in this situation.

"Tanya!" Greg called to her. "Help me please!"

I looked at her in confusion.

"How does he know you?" I asked. She quickly shrugged her shoulders. It was obvious she was lying but why? What was she hiding? Something told me it had something to do with the same reason she was blocking her thoughts a while back. A very important reason.

"How do you know her?" I asked him. He looked at Tanya then back at me, not knowing what to do. She had made quiet the impression on him. In his mind I saw Tanya man handling him and shove a large amount of money into his pocket. She wasn't being around the bush or else she would've seduced him instead she made it clear that it was only business.

He was about to take Tanya's side; I wouldn't have that. I picked up the scalpel.

"If you don't tell me this instant, I'll shove this scalpel so far up your-" He got the point before I was finished but I was already beginning to prove my threat wasn't a bluff.

"She paid me!" he screamed, closing his eyes shut tight.

"Paid you to do what?" I shouted.

"Rape some slut!" he finally confessed. Once I had heard those words, I felt like I was beginning to go into shock. Why didn't I see this? It was obvious... it was there in my face. I lounged straight for Tanya and she didn't even make an attempt to move; she knew knew I would catch her.

"Please Edward! It was so we could be together!" she yelled as she cried fake, dry sobs.

"You disgust me!" I told her before I was stopped by Alice and Emmett. But for a different reason then she thought. They weren't going to help her because by this time they noticed was Greg's words meant also.

"No fair Edward. You've had your fun." Emmett said referring to Greg. "Now it's our turn."

They turned back to Tanya and began a torturous beating. How we would explain this to the the other members of the Denail coven, I don't know nor do I care.

I went back other to Greg and picked up the matches.

"No! Please! Don't do this!" he pleaded. I didn't want to debate with him. I just wanted to get this over with now. It's been a long day. I took him out to the backyard and pour gasoline on to him. I then lit a match and threw it towards him. He caught flame instantly and let out an agonizing scream. I thought I would love to hear him scream as he suffered but it was only a reminder of was a monstrous person I was.

_**Okay, Edward's POV I have to say I though was really lame. Do you agree? I just couldn't think of any other way to write it. Anyways, I need a favor. I don't blame you if you don't help me but just hear me out.**_

IMPORTANT MESSAGE!: Before I made an account on this site, I read a story about Bella, Edward and her sister, Rachel. It was all human and the sister was sort of a slut. She wanted Edward but he didn't want her. Long story but if you've heard of it tell me please. if you need more info send me a message. I've been having a craving to read it but I don't know the title or the author. I'm not asking that you go out of your way to find it but if you've read it and know it please tell me all I promise I'll post the next chapter as soon as someone finds the story. If not that day then the next.

_**Also if you have a story that you want me to read let me know. Even if it ours. It only read Twilight stories on here since it's my current obsession but if it's not Twilight then I'll try to get into it.**_


	19. Chapter 19

**Bella's POV**

_**2 weeks later**_

Kyle and I had been hanging out a lot since he made it clear we were only close friends. And it wasn't at all awkward... not for him at least. I, on the other hand, tried everything in my power to try to make him want me. I never was good at being sexy nor did I know how but I was sure I was doing it right by the way other guys would look at me. After a few attempts I started to question whether or not he was gay. The outfits got more and more revealing but he just wouldn't budge.

The days we would skip school, which was everyday for the past two weeks, he would come over to my place. Charlie was always at work so he wouldn't know. He still thought I was a good girl just going through a break-up phase. The face he made when he saw my choice in attire was priceless. I thought he was going to have a heart attack. I was sure he was going to be like every other dad and tell me to march upstairs and put on something that actually covered my chest and bum, but what could he do? I was eighteen now and old enough to make my own decisions and I knew he didn't want to lose me again. And I wouldn't do that to him, not after the crap I've put him through. I was truly sorry for that.

Skipping school made me feel like it was doing that to him again, but you know what they say. What daddy don't know, won't hurt him. But let's just hope he never knows.

The school called a few times to find out where I was or what happened to me, but Kyle, being the awesome person he was, bailed me out of trouble by mimicking Charlie's voice. I told him most of what happened apart from the rape but he didn't need to know that it happened for him to understand what I was going through. He knew I couldn't go back to school and face the Cullens. He was the only person I could talk to and when I was with him it didn't hurt when I mentioned their names.

"Hey, you wanna go to a party?" he asked, as I walked into the room. He was just closing his phone and I had just got out the shower.

"A party... at your place?" I questioned. I had never seen his house and a part of me desperately wanted to know where it was.

He looked down at his hands then back at me, a look of sadness in his eyes.

"No, a friend of mines from the tattoo parlor. You remember Layla right?" excitement dripping back into his voice, turning back to the cheery Kyle I've grown accustomed to. This happened often when I asked him of his house or what his family was like and after several attempts of trying to figure what was the matter, I began to ignore it, knowing he wouldn't tell me. He wasn't as open about his problems. He trusted me, but didn't want me to feel pity for him. We were alike in that way.

"Yeah," I said answering his last question.

Layla was short with pink hair that stayed in a mohawk. She always wore a pink skirt, black top and red boots every time I saw her, but were never the same outfits. I always wondered what her closet must looked like. Different shades and textures of pink. It kind of scared me. I hate pink.

I went over to my closet and looked through my new wardrobe. Layla seemed like the party type so I'm guessing it's going to be huge.

**Edward's POV**

Bella hadn't been to school and I was beginning to worry. I, of course, thought of going to her house and begging for forgiveness and even though Alice wanted to do the same, she thought we should give her time and space. It would only make her hate us more if we pushed her into it.

I requested Alice to at least make sure she was alright and though she was opposed to ease dropping she too was worried.

I wondered if she was having a vision of someone Bella was with when I saw a tall, black haired girl with red highlights. I then realized it WAS her. She changed her appearance completely. What in the the world possessed her to get a tattoo and piercings? Her clothes were showing what I thought were for my eyes only but realized I lost that privilege long ago.

When it ended, Alice was smiling. Approving of her outfit and new look, liking it much better than her old one. I shook my head, she was perfect the way she was.

Without warning, another vision came to her. This one was different. Bella was dancing with someone and the people around her kept calling her Izzy.

Kyle... He was the pervert she was dancing with. In the beginning of the year, he would sit behind us only to watch Bella and in his mind, undress her. It was disgusting and numerous times I almost lost my temper.

Where was she? Bella was never into dancing, never mind being in the spotlight. But she seemed to be enjoying herself, and I was happy she finally came out of her shell.

**Bella's POV**

When we got to the party huge speakers were blaring Neon Trees and people I didn't even know greeted me, calling me Izzy. And few guys winked at me before Kyle warned them to watch what they were looking at. I worried I was drawing too much of the wrong attention. And when someone grabbed my ass my breath caught in my throat. Was he here?I turned around but realized there was no way I would find him with so many people around.

"Wanna dance?" a male voice asked. I turned again and came face to face with a tall, muscular man. He was buff, but not in a good way. He looked looked like he spent too much time in the gym; almost like a laundry bag full of meat. It was disgusting. I choked in my own words, not knowing how to let him down easy.

"Sorry, she's with me," Kyle told him whilst grabbing my arm and pulling me to the dance floor.

"Thanks!" I shouted over the loud music. He nodded and started dancing. He looked really goofy, but not one person was laughing or even staring at him. Was this how guys dance?

"C'mon!" he shouted, still dancing. "You gonna leave me here dancing alone?"

I looked around, not knowing what to do, I watched what other girls were doing. Most were dancing up on guys they probably didn't even know. They were practically having sex on the dance floor. Hey, if this was the style, why not? I quickly grabbed Kyle, one arm around his neck, the other in my hair, and moved close to him. Both our groins together. I got lost in the song and didn't even notice the crowd of people gathering around us. When the song was over people whooed and applauded us. Mostly for how sexual we were being. Kyle didn't look like he had a problem with it. I thought we were up for an encore but then another girl walked up.

"Kyle?" she asked with a smile on her face. Hr turned around and a smile grew on his face as well.

"Amy?" he asked sounding almost astonished. "I haven't seen you since Jr. High."

They hugged and began talking, completely forgetting about me. I felt left out and awkward. I never minded being alone but something about this time made me feel like a third wheel. Being in the background with no one to talk to. I walked away, looking for that guy that looked like laundry meat.

I was suddenly lost in the crowd; people shoving me in different directions as they danced. Eventually I fell and was nearly stepped on before I crawled away to an empty corner, pulling my knees up to my chest. I felt tears coming on and shut my eyes tight. I wasn't going to cry over some guy, not again. I refused to shed tears over something so petty.

I wanted to go home, but Kyle was my ride here. I hated him at the moment but he was the only one I trusted enough to get me home safely and so I began looking through the crowd asking people of they'd seen him. No one had, until I got to Layla who told me he went upstairs to one of the bedrooms. I stumbled up the steps looking though every room until I finally found him. He was on the floor in front of a coffee table and Amy. In his hand was a straw and his nose was bleeding. My eyes widened in alarm then shock when I found the cause of it. There on the table was five lines of cocaine. I scared me to know that he did this. Drugs had a very strong effect on the body and mind. They can change you to a completely different person.

"What are you doing?" I asked, surprised that my voice came out calm when I was really filled with rage.

"Izzy... It doesn't hurt anymore..." he told me. I looked between the two of them. She snickered and took the straw from him, snorting a whole two lines. This told me she was a pro and probably did this every night. She wiped her nose of any residue and held the straw up to me.

"Wanna try?" she asked. I looked at her like she'd grown another head. Doing drugs was a one-way ticket to jail, a place I thought and grew up to believe was hell.

"C'mon Isabella!" Kyle urged. He opened his mouth as if to say something but stopped short and raised his hand to his face. He licked his and hand.

"I taste like rainbow," he said to himself. He then shoved his whole hand into his mouth and laid on his side with a sigh. If this was how drugs made Kyle act, I wanted to part in it.

"It'll make you happy," Amy promised. If she rely thought I was that naïve she had another thing coming. "You see how happy Kyle is... It can do the same for you."

I shook my head and closed the door.

_**Okay, tell me what you think because it took me only today to write this. I think I did good on such short notice. Mads0728 found the story I was looking for so thank her or else I would've taken forever to post. So is anything confusing to anyone? Tell me know.  
**_


	20. Chapter 20

**Bella's POV**

**Chapter 20**

I woke the next morning exhausted from walking all the way home. In Kyle's condition, I wasn't letting him drive me anywhere.

I got up and started to get ready for school. I decided to go since staying home by myself would've been completely boring. I checked my phone and noticed I had several missed calls, all from Kyle. He called some time in the middle of the night when I was sleeping. I must've really been tired or else I would've heard it ringing.

Just as I was about to set my phone down and do my hair, I got a text. It was from Kyle. It read: 

_Hey, how'd u get home? U goin 2 skol?_

I debated with myself on whether or not I should reply then decided against it. I was still angry with him. I threw my phone on my bed and started on my hair.

As I pulled into the school parking lot, I couldn't help but look in the Cullens direction. They were all there, except for Tanya. 'Maybe she dumped him.' I thought wistfully, but not because I wanted him hurt.

They looked like they were looking for someone. Maybe they didn't break up. The possibility of that disappointed me.

I pulled into the closet place available and got out my truck. I recently traded in my old Chevy for an black, sleek Expoisition. Of course my old truck wasn't enough to effort this one, and that was why I was still paying it off. A few more loans from Charlie and it would be all mine.

The day went by slow and boring, but now it was lunch time and I determined to get my old friends back. I was so focused on my friendship with Kyle that I had completely forgotten about them... some friend I was.

I walked nervously to their table.

"Hi," I sat next to Angela. I knew she wouldn't turn me away.

"Hey," she smiled at me. A real smile, not a fake glassy one, I half expected to get. Everyone else chorused in a 'hey' and continued the conversation they held before I interrupted.

At first, I thought they were ignoring me until Eric asked my opinion on as assignment in English. I agreed with him that it was stupid, though I couldn't wait to get started. We had to write a short story; I was already thinking of what genre it would be. Perhaps love story... I knew the perfect story, but I wasn't sure I should use it.

We were all laughing and talking as the elephant in the room grew smaller. That is until Nick walked up.

Nick was a very close friend of Kyle. He never seem to talk much when I'm around and at first I thought I was because he liked me, until I saw his girlfriend, Lexi. She was pretty enough to be a model. She was a hard ten to my four or six... if that. She was totally out of his league but it was obvious she loved him. It was nice to know when someone says they love you, that they actually meant it. Even if they are out of their league.

But wonder what she saw in him, maybe his hair. I wouldn't balls her for that. It wasn't like a Justin Bieber thing. It was actually sexy hair, that he probably spent time on instead of just shaking it all over the place. It was hot. Like, I would have sex with it if I could... Okay, that was a little overboard, but sorta true. I sighed... Edward had amazing hair. I used to run my fingers through it all the time.  
My thoughts were gladly interrupted by Nick slamming his hand into out table. WTF...

"Can I help you?" I asked calmly. He glanced around the table at each person and nodded his head in a different direction, telling them to beat it.

Mike, feeling very intimidated, nearly ran off with Jessica and Eric following close behind, but Angela didn't more. Instead she looked at him as if he crazy. Nick seemed surprised by this, but he didn't say anything. He looked back at me and I shrugged.

"Ang, could you give us a sec?" she nodded at ne but still didn't move. He stayed glued to Nick's like she was waiting for something. I got the message the same time she did.

"I'm sorry," he apologized. She grimaced and left the table.

"What was that about?" he sat down in her seat. I shrugged and waited for him to continue.

"Look, we both know I'm here to talk about Kyle," he explained, getting straight to the point. I didn't say anything. I didn't want to talk, so hopefully he'll go away. I sighed when he continued.

"Kyle's a good guy... but he's been through a lot," his face turned hard as he spoke. "You have no right to judge him for what he did."

He was angry with me. I could tell and I was starting to get scared. He could be really creepy when he wanted to, but he was right. I couldn't judge. He didn't try to commit suicide, that was my sin, and I'm sure if he tried he would've been dead by now. He wasn't a coward like me.

"Like what?" I asked referring to his last statements. Kyle never shared anything personal with me. I never knew about his past because he never told me. I'm such a hypocritical bitch; a horrible friend and person. Kyle always listened to my problems without any complaints or criticism.

"Ask him... It's not my business to tell," were Nick's parting words before he left and walked back to his table where Kyle and Lexi sat.

_**Okay, this is shorter than it's supposed to be because I had to post while I could. I still don't know when I'll post again because I'm not supposed to have my iPod...  
**_


	21. Chapter 21

_**For those of you that haven't realized, I replaced the last author's note with chapter 20. This is chapter 21. Sorry I took so long to post but this site was acting up and it wouldn't let me update! I was soooo annoyed. Anyways... Enjoy!**_

**Bella's POV**_**  
**_  
I wasn't sure whether or not I wanted to forgive Kyle. My mistake was just as bad as his, but drugs was something I couldn't stand.

When I was little my idol, who I'd idolized for years, was on caught on video doing drugs. After that I didn't like her anymore and I had stuck with her during all her chaos and drama

But Kyle wasn't some crazy celebrity, he was my friend; one of my best friends. People that do drugs are doing mostly because their going through a hard time if not yet an addiction. If he was going through a hard time than I would help him. He would do the same for me... he did do the same for me. I sighed.

The bell rung to go to class and I quickly walked out to catch up go Kyle.

"Hey," I tapped on his shoulder. He turned around and his eyes lit up when he saw it was me.

"Izzy." I had forgotten about that name and almost turned around to see if anyone was behind me.

"I'm sorry for ignoring your text," I apologized.

"It's okay," he assured me. "But what about the fifty missed calls?" he asked. I could tell by his voice and the smirk on his face that he was joking.

"I was sleeping," I smiled. He raised an eyebrow at me. "No, really!" I said. He shook his head and let out a small laugh. Then it became serious.

"I'm sorry for what I did," he told me. I looked down. I couldn't say I understood, because I didn't. I had to ask him.

"Why do you do it?" I used present tense because I wasn't sure whether or not he will be continuing using them. I hoped not.

"...My mom...used them for many years after her and my dad split. She got so caught up into it that eventually we lost our house because she lost her job and spent all of her money on drugs."

"What about your dad? Didn't he help? Or at least take you from her?" I asked.

"That mofo doesn't care about us. He's somewhere in California screwing some anorexic model," he spat.

"So then what?" I asked curiously, hoping I didn't seem nosy.

"Then one day, I asked my mom why. Why she let drugs take over life and let it slowly...kill her. Her answer is what made me try... but there is no just once for drugs. Once you try it... There's no going back..." he trailed off, seeming ashamed of himself.

"Humph. So what was her answer?"

"She said it made her feel good."

That would explain why so many people did it, but didn't she know the consequences? The uncontrollable shakes and the pain and suffering you put your family through. Drugs can mess you up completely. I know because I read a book about it: _Go Ask Alice_. Okay maybe it was made in the seventies and some things have change since then but it was still a great book and very true since it was a diary of a real drug user.

"What does it feel like for you?" Is asked. He seemed like he really had to think about it.

"It _does _feel great. It takes away all the bullshit in life and all the pain and turns it into something beautiful," It was freaky how passionate he sounded about it all. Like it was a precious child and if you said something to insult it he'd kick your ass in a heartbeat. he made it sound so fun and easy to do.

I had secretly always wanted to try drugs, but not much of anything. Maybe weed and LSD but just once. Kyle's story was making me think twice.

"But," he continued. "It also screws you up big time."

"How?" I asked. I wanted to try it so bad but I had to think of the consequences. I still wasn't sure.

"Once... when I was trying to get sober, I started to have these hallucinations. I thought I was going crazy. When it was all finally over I found myself half naked, in only my underwear and socks, running around screaming 'I'm Spiderman!' " He laughed and I laughed with him. I had to admit, that was pretty funny.

The bell rung and I waved goodbye to Kyle. A smirk played on his lips and he followed me into class.

"What are you doing?" He didn't have this class with me.

"I changed my schedule so I could be with you more," he replied. My face made an 'awe' expression as he followed me into class, but I stopped dead on my tracks when I saw him. I expected this, but now that I really had to deal with it... my heart was racing faster than it ever had. You know, like when you plan on doing or saying something and when the time comes your too nervous.

I sat in my seat next to Edward and Kyle sat behind me, not paying any attention to Edward. It was as if he wasn't there.

The teacher walked in and began to write on the board from a textbook. He didn't even say good afternoon. That wasn't a good sign.

Whispers started up around the classroom about Mr. Berty having problems with his wife. Which were probably true since he came out the janitor's closet with another teacher, but what really surprised us is that the teacher wasn't a woman...

Having sex on school campus was very frowned upon. (By teachers that is. Everyone else was totally fine with it.) He was getting fired and he knew it, but the question is when.

"No talking or you'll get a detention and if you keep talking that will result in a suspension!" he yelled to the class without even looking away from the board.

I quiet-frankly didn't give a damn about getting in trouble but I wasn't in the mood to back talk today. I got out my notebook and began to copy down what was on the board.

A few minutes later Edward pushed a note in front me.

"From Kyle..." he told me in a lifeless tone. It was almost as if he was miserable and I couldn't help but look into his eyes. They were almost black and they had dark circles under them, but that wasn't the part that made me gasp. They looked worrisome and angry all at once. I quickly looked away before the guilt, that I knew was coming, showed on my face.

I open the note to distract myself. It read:

**Wat r u doin afta skol?  
**  
I had just picked up my pencil and was about to write my reply when the classroom door opened and in walked Mr. Banner.

"Excuse me Mr. Berty, Principal London would like to see you." Mr. Berty walked out grumbling some very unintelligible words. As soon as the door closed everyone burst into laughter. No one ever did like him.

"Bella..." I recognized the voice. The smooth velvet voice that I haven't heard in so long. But it had a strain to it, like he was in pain. I looked at him, immediately giving in to his beautiful eyes. Even when he was a wreck he looked like a Greek god.

"I'm sorry. I know what happened-" He was cut off by Kyle crapping his chair across the floor to sit next to me. He plopped down in his chair with a sigh.

"So what's up?" he asked casually. I didn't answer him. I didn't even look up when he sat down. I was staring at Edward.

He knew what happened? Didn't he already know? He had to. It was the reason he wanted to be with Tanya, wherever she is now.

He stared at Kyle. Frustration clear on his perfect, chiseled face.

"Izzy," Kyle called, while waving his hand in front of my face. I slowly turned my gaze to meet his.

"What?" My voice came out hoarse and I had to clear my throat.

"What are you doing after school?" he asked.

"Oh... I'm, er... trying out for cheerleading," I admitted. He bit his lip to prevent himself from laughing. And out the corned of my eye I saw Edward's head snap in my direction. I'm sure he wasn't expecting this anymore than Kyle did, but I couldn't blame them. I always had been clumsy. But this was something I always wanted to do. I was never popular enough to do it in my old schools and since I was going through a rebellious phase I thought 'Why not?'

I secretly always wanted to be a cheerleader. Just to know what it felt like. I wanted to be superior; a mean girl but not actually mean. A plastic as the movies say.

"I'll meet you there. Lexi is trying out too." he told me.

I wasn't surprised. Lexi seemed like the type and she could beat me any day. She was pretty, popular, and from what I've seen when she was practicing, flexible. Something I wasn't... at least I don't think. I can't do a split but I've done a back bend once. Does it count that it was on accident?

I went over my routine in my head. Jump, kick, split-... I have no idea what I'm going to. I wasn't going to make the team anyways. If I tried out I would only be making a fool of myself.

_**Okay, that longer than usual because I thought you guys deserved more from it. Anyways the best is still to come.**_

**_I based Bella's idol on my experience with Miley Cyrus. Once I saw that video of her doing drugs I never liked her anymore. Well, not as much as I used to._**

**_For those of you that don't know, 'mofo' isn't a typo. It's short for motherfucker._**

**_Go Ask Alice is a real book (and a very good one at that) that is based on real events. It's the diary of a fifteen year old girl. I would've went into more detail about it in the story but I don't want to ruin it for you in case you might want to read it._**

**_BTW, I made it to where there are three bells in Forks. The bell to go to class, the bell to get settled and a tardy bell._**

**_Omg. I know I made Mr. Berty gay and I'm sorry but I thought that would be_**  
**_funny. A guy as old as him caught screwing some young guy. I don't know why but I always do this. It just isn't a story if someone isn't gay. No offense to any people that might be gay. I always wanted a gay guy friend._**

**_ Questions:_**

_**1.) What do you think is going to happen next?**_

_**2.) What do you want to happen next? Give me ideas!**_

_**3.) Listen to any good songs lately? Ke$ha maybe?**_

_**4.) Read any good books? (Pink by Lili Wilinkson was really good! Check it out!) IDK if i spelled her last name rite. LOL**_


	22. Chapter 22

**Bella's POV**

**Chapter 22**

The class ended quickly and every now and then I would sneak a quick peek at Edward. My curiosity got he best of me. What was it he knew about?

Kyle and I talked throughout the entire period about nothing inpreticular. We were being goofy and random, which earned us a few strange looks from our classmates, but he didn't care. Thats what I loved about him, his inability to care about what other people thought about him.

He talked about odd things, never able to stay on the same subject for long. I thought it was hilarious; stuff he came up with kept me laughing. He brought out a side of me I never even knew I had and the goofiest laugh I'd ever made. I was almost embarrassed by it.

I felt Edward's stare on me the entire time, but I tried not to think of that. We weren't together anymore, so why should it matter to him?

The bell rung and I took my time to leave the class, hoping that maybe Kyle would leave without me so I could talk to Edward.

I guess I didn't wish hard enough because Kyle stood there watching me as I slowly put my things back into my bag. They were scattered everywhere due to a curious Kyle that insisted on raiding my bag. He made fun of my many tubes of eyeliner and Chapstick. Two things I recently found I cannot live without.

Edward stood leaning against the table glaring a Kyle. I swear, if looks could kill...

"Hey Kyle, do you mind waiting for me outside?" I asked, trying to sound casual. I hadn't looked up from the table, afraid of what his reaction would be. My heartbeat picked up and my breathing got faster. Just thinking of talking to Edward again after all this time, I thought I was going to have an anxiety attack.

"...Sure..." Kyle said knowingly. I knew he would be listening for if anything goes wrong and, no doubt, Edward did too. He left and I waited for Edward to began. I wanted to talk but I don't intend on being the first one to talk.

"Bella," he started. His voice was just as I remembered it, and just as I dreamt it every night. It brought back memories. The ones I missed so much.

Then, I felt it. His cool, smooth hand touch my arm, and on reflex, I cringed away from it. Quickly taking a few steps back.

I stared at his hand as he dropped it back to his side, then to his face. His eyes looked the same as they did earlier, full of pain, sorrow, and anger. His eyes tore away from mine and he looked down shamefully.

I stood there, not knowing what to do. I was very much angry with him, but I wanted nothing more than to wrap my arms around him and kiss his beautiful pink lips... I wanted to be with him, but something told me I would just get my heart broken again.

"Bella, words can't express how sorry I am for putting you through all of this. So... I'll do my best to explain." he told me, pulling out my chair. He motioned for me to sit and I did just that. He sat next to me and let out a long and suppressing sigh, pinching the bridge of his nose. When he finally looked up to me, I was on the verge of tears. His eyes widened in alarm.

"Bella! Love, are you alright?" he exclaimed.

"Love. You call me Love. But if you 'loved' me so much then why would you cheat on me with that...that... Whore!" I screamed at him. He looked at me in surprise. That's right, he'd never heard me use cuss words before. I remember him saying that there was nothing cute or funny about a young lady using such vulgar words, and to be honest I didn't think so either.

"Bella, I know your hurt, but I swear to you there is nothing going on between Tanya and I."

Did he think I was stupid? Because I'm human I don't know anything. His doubt in me was really pissing me off. 

_**I know it's been almost a month and you deserve more than what's in this chapter. I don't know if I can write often since my iPod is really acting up. The screen is cracked, the top button is jammed, and it shuts off if you leave alone for a while. I'm sure I'll stop working pretty soon. I just really hope no one abandoned this story. I had everything planned out for a long time now, but I'm not so sure anymore. The way I see it there are two ways this story can go. **_

_**1.) It can end in the next chapter or so and have a happily ever after.**_

_**OR**_

_**2.)It can go on for a few more chapters with more drama, that you may or may not like. **_

_**EVERYONE has to vote on this because everyone opinion matters. **_


	23. Chapter 23

_**Dear FanFic,**_

_**I didn't delete my private messages for a reason, so I definitely didn't appreciate you deleting them for me. If you choose to do so again I'll have no choice than to kick your ass. :/**_

_**XOXO**_  
_**Crystal AKA LoveKe$ha4eva :)**_

_**Okay, so now that that's out the way... Sorry for the long wait. My iPod finally died and won't turn back on, so I'm waiting for my parents to buy me a new one. Then, the hardware on my computer went out so the only way I could write this chapter was to LITERALLY WRITE IT! Ugh!**_

_**Okay, I'll admit, I've been really lazy lately and haven't been in the writing mood. Really all I've been doing is reading. I wanted to catch up on that. FanFic stories of course. ;)**_

_**So love you and your reviews, I'm continuing with more drama & more chapters since that's what most people want.**_

_**Here goes...**_

**Bella's POV**

"I just... I made a mistake and I want to apologize-" I stopped him right there.

"I don't care Edward! I really don't!" I screamed. "You can say you're sorry all you want but I'm not forgiving you."

It hurt me so much to yell at him like this, but I know he deserved it. This was what I needed to do to keep from crying, and to keep from running into his arms and telling him how much I missed him and needed him. But no. I couldn't do that yet. Not until he knew just how it felt to think the love of your life hated you for no apparent reason. Trust me... He would find out soon.

He sighed.

"I know." Was all he said.

"What you did to me was cruel!" I shouted, getting angry that he was nodding his head, agreeing with me. This was good. Anger was what I needed if I was going to get through this. Of course, I expected him to agree that he was a jackass and take full blame, but I was still hoping for him to feel broken like he broke me.

I loved Edward... still, and it killed me to know that I wanted to hurt that way. But this is what I felt had to be done. He was still Adonis; so much more beautiful than I. Who knows if this might happen again, he had to know how it felt. If he really loved me, as he claimed ti have so many times, he wouldn't hurt me like this again once he knew how it felt.

"I don't even know why you showed your face again," I spat. Now I was being cruel, but I tired to appear as if I didn't care.

"Why do I even matter to you? Your little fuck doll is much better looking than I am!"

I continued to scream as his eyes grew wide once again at my words. What, did he think I was stupid? Like I didn't know he was fucking that slut. The real question is how long had he been doing it.

"Bella, I don't know what you thought was going on between Tanya and I but-"

"I know what was going on between you two. She made that quite clear," I stated crossing my arms, as I replayed that moment in my head. I remembered it clearly because that was the day Alice slapped me cross the face, and the day I really died.

"She lied, Bella." he tried to convince me. "Your the only one I would ever be willing to give my virginity to."

My eyes must have been as wide as saucers. I hadn't even known he was a virgin. He had been on the earth for this long and he hasn't done... it.

The word seemed so dirty now. Worst than a cuss word. He had a chance to be with Tanya. I'm sure there were several chances when that slut threw herself at him. Why wouldn't he take them... Unless he was lying about being a virgin.

"Bella," I heard my name being called from the doorway. I turned to see Kyle standing there with his arms crossed staring daggers at Edward. I felt a tear roll down my cheek that I never even felt coming. I quickly wiped it away. Damn! I know Edward saw that, and now he would know that I wasn't as strong as I appeared to be. Damn!

I tried my hardest to contain my sigh of relief. I didn't want Edward to hear how desperate I had been to get away from him.

"I'm coming." I walked out the door without a backwards glance. He shouldn't deserve even that much.

Kyle waited until we were almost to the gym to bombard me with the questions I had been waiting for.

"You okay? What happened?" I smiled at how he got just a nosy as me when it came to each others lives. Felt good to know I wasn't annoying him when I got that way... At least I hoped not...

"I'm fine. We just talked for a bit." I tried to sound as casual as possible. I didn't want him to know how much it hurt to walk away from Edward. He would forever hate me if he knew that. I was supposed to hate him. I told Kyle I hated him, but only because I wanted to. He didn't deserve my love, but I couldn't help but love him. He's everything I ever wanted and more. I tried to convince myself numerous times that I didn't love him; that what we had wasn't love. Of course, it didn't work. Maybe I was in love alone.

"What did you talk about?"

"Just... stuff."

"What kinda shit, Bella?" He was getting aggravated.

"Nothing. I just told him that I would never forgive him for what he did." He opened his mouth again to say something, but I had already opened the gym door and walk inside.

There were more people than I expected, and though it should've, it didn't make me nervous. Luckily, I arrived just as my name was being called to go up.

I felt this huge wave of courage crash over me, so I followed it before I changed my mind and chickened out. The fact that people were cheering for me made me smile. I hoped they would afterward too. I worked really hard on my routines.

Ah! I didn't even pick which routine I would perform! Oh God, how could I be so stupid? Sigh. It was too late now. I would have to wing it and go with whatever song they picked for me. Sounded lame, but I would have to let my body do the talking and feel the music. Ugh, I sound like Reneé.

Rude Boy by Rihanna came on and I froze. What was I supposed to do with this song? Everyone was staring and out the corner of my eye I could see Lauren laughing. I looked around once more and my eyes landed on Edward just as he was walking in. His eyes were glued to mine as he walked to the bleaches to join the rest of his siblings. Shit... They were all here. They were here to laugh at me. Watch me choke. Was I scared? Yes. Was I going to back out? Hell no!

So I moved to the music, and instead of trying to woo the boys by dancing like a stripper like most of the girls, I dance the way I danced in my bedroom every night. (A/N: If you want to see how she danced, go to YouTube and search: iDejance Rihanna Rude Boy. Katherine & Dejance are the first two. Watch Katherine!)

I stopped almost half way through the song, but no one was clapping or cheering. Everyone stood mouth agape. Was I that horrible?

As I walked towards him, I realized Kyle was smirking. What the hell? I thought he was supposed to comfort me when I fail, not laugh at me.

I was about ready to scream my ass off at him, when everyone burst into applause. I looked around the room then to the center of the floor. No one was there... so they were cheering for me. Me!

I smiled from ear to ear as I ran to the center of the room again, and bowed to the audience in the lamest way I knew how. Best to look stupid already in case someone told you that you did. That way you could say, "Duh! That was the point!" Then they'd be the one looking stupid.

Another song came on, Take It Off by Ke$ha. (A/N: YouTube search: iDejance Take it Off. Click on the first one. The first three people, and since they don't give there names the girl thats supposed to be Bella is the the one in black skinny jeans.)

Another two encores, Outta Your Mind by Lil Jon ft. LMFAO and Whip My Hair By Willow Smith. (A/N: Search YouTube: iDejance Outta your mind. The one you should looking for in that vid is Melissa. You can catch he in the second performance. And then search iDejance Whip my hair. It's the girl in the first performance.)

This new Bella was brave, didn't care what people said or thought about her. She was courageous and fearless and tough when she needed to be. She was completely kick ass... I liked this new Bella.

**_I kinda liked the way that ended. :) it was a kinda spur of the moment thing. Anywho... Is this chapter confusing? I think it is even for me. You have any questions on the YouTube videos and iDejance don't be afraid to ask! Their really good! They work with the best celebrities. :)_**

**_IMPORTANT: TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK OF THE DANCES BY iDeJance! :)_**

**_Please Review!_**


	24. Chapter 24

_**Sorry for the long wait... again. I've been lazy and haven't been in the writing mood... again. Anyways, I started writing this two days before so if i start writing a chapter now then maybe I can have it posted two or three days from now. Much better than a month later right? **_

**Bella's POV**

Kyle and I walked out the school doors laughing.

"I don't care what you say! I'm taking you out to celebrate!" Kyle told me with the biggest smile on his face. He was actually proud of me!

"You were amazing!" he continued. I blushed and murmured a thank you. Somethings just never changed.

"She was, wasn't she?" a familiar voice called out behind us. It wasn't like the one I had talked to earlier today. This one was much more feminine. Kyle and I turned our heads at the same time. I sighed. They followed us; Edward and Alice.

"What do you want Alice?" I asked annoyed. I was getting tired of them cornering me, but I honestly wanted to hear what they had to say.

"We want to apologize Bella. I saw things wrong, but that still gave me no right to treat you that way." she looked down at her expensive shoes. "Especially me. I was supposed to be the one to help you though tough times. I'm a horrible best friend, and I don't deserve your forgiveness, but I really hope you will. I miss you, we all do."

She looked up at me, and if I hadn't have felt bad about hurting her feelings I would've laughed. She was so short. How had I gone so long without laughing before? Focus Bella, focus.

"I miss you, too, Alice. And yes, you were a horrible friend to me... and I hope you know that's why I can't accept your apology."

She looked at me with sincere eyes and I knew that if she could cry, she would've been.

"Bella... please. I miss you so much..." she said walking closer. Kyle tugged on my hand, but I didn't budge.

"Bella," Edward started. "I know it'll be a long time before you forgive me, and I deserve it, but Alice has beaten herself up over this. Believe it or not, worst than I have. Your her first best friend in a long time. If your not going to forgive me... please, at least do it for her." he pleaded.

I stared at him before looking back to her. I could feel the tears swelling in my eyes. Was I really that much to her? I wanted to believe yes, and know that my best friend was still somewhere down there, but that was what I wanted to believe; fantasy. And I had to face reality. I lived in fantasy before. Thinking everything was great and nothing could ruin my time with Edward and we would live happily ever after forever. And unfortunately, everyone has to come out of reality at some point. Reality came knocking on my door the night I was raped. Reality told me that my best friend didn't give a shit about me, because if she did, she would've never hurt me. Reality sucks ass.

"I love Rose and Esme, but I couldn't relate to them like I could to you. Don't you miss playing Bella Barbie?" she asked.

I couldn't help but roll my eyes at that question. I absolutely hated playing Bella Barbie, but I never had the heart to tell her that. Mostly because she loved doing it, and I actually wanted to look at least a little like I belonged in their family. I loved that I looked like a model afterwards, but I hated the torture that came with it. But then again what was the point of dressing up when Rosalie was around? I always thought that until I would see Edward and the expression on his face when he saw me. It was the look of genuine love. He made me feel beautiful. Prettier than any model, prettier than Rosalie even. I especially missed that.

"Yeah right," I said sarcastically, "I hated when you did that. Your so controlling. Put our own husband in women's clothes for your own selfish amusement." I blurted out, too distracted by my thoughts to realize what I was saying. I froze, instantly regretting the words that came out my mouth and held my breath as I looked into her eyes. What I said wasn't at all much, and nothing compared to what I could've said when I was angry, but I knew how fragile her feelings were. She looked sad still, and almost heartbroken. I felt bad that I did that to her. I never meant to hurt her feelings, even if she was a terrible friend to me.

"I'm sorry," I blurted out again, and I resisted the urge to hit myself on the head. Why the hell was I apologizing? And by the look on Kyle's face he was thinking the same. Yeah, the old me was still somewhere under there. Clumsy and careful of others feelings. I hated that they brought out this side of me.

"No, don't apologize. I deserved that." I could honestly say that she did, but that didn't ease the guilt that I felt. I hated being mean, and I really hated these mood swings. One minute, I could care less about how people felt or were affected by my harsh words, and the next thing I know I'm either carefully wording my sentence, or putting my big foot in my mouth for saying something stupid. With my words sometimes getting mixed up or making incoherent sentences, I was beginning to think I had a speech disorder. Or maybe it's just my hypochondria.

Everyone was silent for a few moments until Kyle tugged on my hand again. I nodded and started to make my way to my car when Alice said something.

"I know you still hate us," she said sadly. "But please come by the house sometime soon. We all want to talk to you and apologize properly. Mom and Dad miss you too..."

I nodded. I should at least visit Carlisle and Esme. After all, they were the ones that helped me though my hard times... Or maybe it was just an excuse to see them. To see if they really missed me as much as I missed them. I didn't want to admit that I did, but what was the point in hiding your feelings from yourself? I couldn't even convince myself that I was okay. I knew I wasn't. After... the rape... I should've been thrown into therapy. I probably would've been progressing by now, or even as if it never happened. But this was Charlie I was living with. He was a father who was afraid of emotions and tears. He hated talking about feelings, and I could tell they made him uncomfortable. With Renée, on the other hand, there would've been unwanted attention, and unnecessary talks and doctor visits. I was always the parent in our relationship, but she was always protective.

I drove quickly. Hardly being able to contain my happiness. I felt like I haven't talk to my parents in ages, and just thinking of them made me miss them. I even couldn't recall the last time I had spoken to Renée. They would be so proud that I had made the team! Renée, because she had always wanted me to do something normal for my age and spontaneous for once, and Charlie would just be glad I was acting like a teenager.

"What are you smiling about?" Kyle asked once we pulled up to my house. " You're not actually buying their crap, are you?"

Is shrugged my shoulders, my smile never disappearing. I wasn't thinking about the Cullens right now and I wasn't trying to. I had enough worrying over them and enough drama, now I just wanted to spend a little time with my family. I wonder if I could get Renée to come down to Forks for the weekend.

As I expected, Renée was ecstatic and Charlie was smiling the biggest smile I'd seen in awhile. While the Cullens were on the back burner for now, I thought only once of Alice's request to come see them. I missed our shopping sprees, and sleepovers where I would later just fall asleep in Edward's arms even though we told Charlie that the boys wouldn't be there. I laughed out loud at that... I missed my best friend, my boyfriend... and my family. 

_**So what do you think? Should she forgive Alice? **_


	25. Chapter 25

_**I swear I'm trying to update sooner than what I am but this is really hard when the only way I can do it is on my mom's laptop or write it on paper then type what I wrote. I'll try harder. Promise. I hope you like it.**_

**Bella's POV  
**  
**2 weeks later**

"Izzy!" I turned around to see Britney and Tiffany. Sisters, twins of course, and both part of the cheerleading squad. I guess you could say they're cheerleading material. They weren't they the sharpest knifes in the bunch and they weren't beautiful but they did have pretty blond hair, and they were skinny. They made perfect football groupies, something I refused to become.

They were actually nice. Everyone in the team was, which was unexpected because weren't cheerleaders supposed to be really bitchy and stuck up? Maybe it's just a stereotype.

"Izzy, there's a party to night after the game. Your coming right?" Britney asked. This was the first party of the season and it was supposed to be big. Almost the entire school was coming.

"Yeah. Can't wait." I told her. She and Tiffany squealed and took off down the hall.

Cheerleading was much easier than I thought. They already made routines and all I had to do was practice them. I still couldn't do flips and cartwheel and all that other stuff so I stayed on the ground and smiled so much my cheeks hurt. The amount of make up and clothes these people wear is just ridiculous. My thong is a mile up my butt, my bra pushed my boobs up to my ears, and my mascara is so thick they could start a tornado. But I was only required to look like a slut at the parties... Psh, not that I'd do it anyways... And as if on cue.

"I hope your not planning on going to that party dressed like one of them." Rosalie asked. We still weren't the best of friends but we were trying to get somewhere.

They all ran into me in the hallways ( in "coincidence") more than once and apologized. They all gave these really long speeches about how sorry they were and I would just say "Okay" and walk right along. It didn't mean I forgave them and it didn't mean I wouldn't. I was still thinking about it and I've postponed the visit until I was absolutely sure I knew what I was going to say and do.

I did call once... For Carlisle and Esme. I felt extremely guilty when an excited Alice answered. She thought I had forgiven her and her squeals turned into sobbing cries when I told her I wasn't calling for that and I that wanted to speak to Esme and Carlisle. It was an awkward conversation since I could still hear Alice's sobs in the background.

"I don't know. I thought about it." I told her. I wasn't really focused on having a conversation with her but I didn't want to just blow her off. I was actually putting together my outfit in my head. Just in case I did decide to dress like them then I wouldn't have to spend the entire day shopping. Another thing I picked up from my team mates and actually liked. Why couldn't I have liked it when Alice and I were best friends? So much for forever.

The bell rung and she waved and gave me a small smile. I don't hate her, but I don't like her either. So I turned and walked quickly like I was going to be late for class, even though I was only going to lunch.

As I entered the cafeteria, I could feel their eyes on me... again. And as I do everyday, I ignored them and walked straight to my table. With my real friends.

"What's up?" I asked, taking the seat between Kyle and Lexi. I know, Lexi was supposed to turn out to be a real bitch out to destroy my life because I did better than her in tryouts. But she hasn't done anything to make me think she hated me yet, shocker really. All those hollywood movies are so wrong.

"I was just thinking of the outfit I gonna wear." Lexi answered.

"Me and Tiffany were going shopping later. Wanna come?" Britney asked. I shook my head. I put together my outfit in my desperate escape from Rosalie. I saw it in Nicki Minaj's SuperBass video. Small white tank top (short enough to show my navel piercing), booty shorts, but instead of Timbs, pink Converse. I was still deciding on whether or not I should wear matching bra and panties since both would be showing... What? I told you they dress like sluts. I never would've thought in this small, cold, rainy town.

Of course I can't let Charlie see me walk out like that. He might start to worry more than before. He's already been on me about hanging out with Kyle. He's been saying he's bad influence since the day he busted a party he happened to be at. Worst part was I could've been at that party. The only reason I wasn't was because I had practice. Charlie would've freaked if he found me at a party with drugs and alcohol even if I wasn't doing any. He made me promise I wouldn't hang out with Kyle anymore. I hate lying to him, but Kyle was a good friend to me and would never make me do something I don't want to do, as I tried telling him but you know how parents get. Gotta protect their babies.

"Do you guys mind if I came, too?" a voice called from behind me. I sighed. I'd know that bell like voice anywhere. And as I turned, my suspicions were confirmed. There stood a smiling Alice and Jasper.

"What do you want?" I asked annoyed.

"I just wanted to come to the party." she stated pouting. That innocent look wasn't fooling me… but it did seem to be fooling everyone else.

"Yeah! Of course you can come!" Tiffany nearly screamed. She always envied the Cullens for their beauty, and wanted to know Rosalie's secret to keep her hair looking naturally blonde. Britney, on the other hand, was convinced they had access to special beauty cream that only sales in Japan in the black market. She says that models use it too, which is why she so desperately wants the chance to raid the Cullen's crib and steal their most prize possessions... I laughed for ten minutes straight. If only you knew BritBrit.

"Why can't you just leave me alone?" I whined. Yes, it came down to this. I wanted some space and hovering and apologizing every time they saw me wasn't going to make me forgive them.

She leaded into my ear and said, "I'll do whatever it takes to get my sister back." I rolled my eyes. That such a movie scene. If that was the case than I would just completely ignore them. Shouldn't be hard.

The party was much wilder than I pictured it would be. There were topless girls singing on counter tops, some were completely and jumping into pools, and other were making out on the couch totally intoxicated while some perv film it with their flip camera. I was sure that the next time I came into that room that video would be qualified to be on a porn site.

"Wanna drink?" an obviously drunk guy asked me. I hesitated but then nodded. If everyone was having fun then why not? He handed me a green plastic cup filled to the rim. I jerked my head at him, a new way I learned to say thank you, what's up, ect., ect., and made my way to mingle. I couldn't cling to Kyle the whole night.

I pushed through the crowd until I ended up in the kitchen, which was crowded with people chanting "Go!". They finally broke out into applause and cheers.

"What's going on?" I asked to person next to me. I didn't know him but I figure it didn't matter.

"Drinking contest." he answered without taking his eyes off whatever person he was looking at.

"Who's next?" I heard someone yell. No one seemed to be taking the challenge. I pushed past a few people to get a better look, only to be thrown into a chair in front of a very drunk guy.

"Hey sexy beautiful," he hiccuped. "You wanna drink me?" he asked. Wow, he's so fucked up he can't even talk right.

"… Yeah. I do. Bring it." I urged. Why not? He looked like he was going to throw up any second and if he did then I won. I would just have to keep my distance. I just bought these shoes last week. I'll bust his ass if he ruins them.

The crowd cheered and there were two filled-to-rim cups of beer and a three shots. God, how the he'll was I supposed to chug this down. I hope this is lime beer, or else I won't be getting this down so easily.

"Go!" someone shouted. I grabbed one of the plastic cups and chugged as fast as I could, ignoring the disgusting taste. Nope, that's not lime. I got through that cup and moved to the next just as my competitor was doing the same. I closed my eyes and resisted the urge to throw up. I wasn't even drunk yet. I felt the cup empty and threw it to the ground as I went for the shots. I felt as if I didn't have time to look up to see how the other guy was doing. I was in the zone.

The vodka burned my lips and throat going down, but it tasted better than the beer so I dealt with it. It sort of tasted like green apple. Was this the new vodka Pucker? It looked good on TV, I thought as I finished my second shot and was on to my next. I brought my head back and gulped it down, not caring how it hurt. I looked at the guy across from me and he was just finishing.

I won! People were cheering and I stood up to do a happy dance to celebrate my victory. At this point, I was too drunk to care how stupid I looked. I know, I barely had a lot to drink, but I only weigh 110 lbs. Doesn't take for someone my size to get drunk, and I guess it doesn't take long to get sick either because the next thing I knew I was puking up everything I eat that day while some dude was holding my hair back. His icy fingers lightly grazed my neck. Shit... Icy fingers?

I looked up and sure-nough there was Edward. A sad smile on his face. I see it in his eyes he was afraid I was going to push him away... but I didn't. His hands felt nice against my hot, clammy skin.

I looked around the room, to avoid catching his gaze again. What the hell was he doing here anyways? When did he get here.

God, I am so fucked up. I don't even remember how I got into this bathroom. Did I walk in here? Did he carry me?... Where the fuck is my beer?

"Bella!" a voice called on the other side of the door. "Open this fucking door! You asshole!"

Edward pretended as if he didn't even hear it. Concern in his face and hand on my forehead. I couldn't resist the urge to lean into him.

More banging.

"Are you okay?" He asked. I nodded and got up, pushing passed him. I tried opening the door but it wouldn't budge.

"What the fuck?" I whispered to myself, still tugging on the knob.

"It's locked," he said. I jumped, not realizing he was behind me. His cool breath on the back of my neck made my eyes roll to the back of my head and my girly parts tingle. He brought his hand to mine to unlocked the door and open it. I looked at him and he wore the same expression he's had for the entire week. He didn't look smug or like he was trying to dazzle me, but damn he looked sexy in those jeans. I could only imagine how delicious his ass looks... Hmmm, I bet it's grab-able.

I slipped out the door and into the hallway as fast as I could without tripping. But clumsy me stumbled right into Kyle.

"Stay the hell away from her!" he yelled and yanked me away into another room.

"Come on!" I yelled annoyed. "I wanna dance! This is my song!"

I swayed to the music completely off beat. I mean who the hell slow dances to 3OH!3? 'Touchin on My' isn't much of a slow dance song.

"Izzy-" I heard Kyle call but I was already gone and following the music to the front of the house. I tried to pay attention to what doors not to open, don't wanna go into a room and find something that'll scary memories.

Where am I again?

_**Okay, so before you say 'People don't get drunk that fast' let me explain. While some random guy was serving the drinks at the contest part, he laced her drink with LSD. That's a drug and is only the start. Maybe… idk. Oh, and be aware you Kyle lovers. Everything is not what it seems. ;)**_

_**IMPORTANT: I dnt no if any1 else has gotten to too but I found a leaked preview of Breaking Dawn! It's at Perez . You can inbox me if you cant find it. I'll try to post the link on my profile.**_


	26. Chapter 26

_**Yep, another upload in less than a month. I'm completely awesome. I thought about this while listening to a song and just hanging around in my room. Not really much of a plot chapter but I thought of it and I liked the idea so I just started typing. Enjoy and I hope you like it! **_

**Bella's POV**

A few months ago I never thought I would've been sitting in the principal's office for something other than an award. Yet, here I am. Sitting in this hard chair, waiting for Charlie to get here so Principal Green can talk to him about my behavior… and my incident.

It's not my fault. I could kicked off the cheer team because of that bitch, and God, all the pitiful looks and treatment I would get because of her. I don't know why I let her get to me in the first place. I was in here because of Lauren Mallory. The jealous bitch started it, I was just defending myself. Was that so bad? Here's what happened.

_First it started off with me and Kyle talking about the tattoo he was going to get this Friday and suddenly Lauren walks by and her purse 'accidently' knocks me on the head. I already wasn't having a good day since I woke up this morning with a pounding headache and it didn't help that when I looked in the mirror I resembled a hangover monster._

_She obviously didn't know that I wasn't the same Bella that sat there and took shit from her because I was a scared pushover. And if she thought I was going to sit back and take whatever the hell she threw at me she was sadly mistaken. So I got up…_

"_Watch where the fuck you goin!" I called after her, not caring who heard or stopped to stare. Which was everybody, including the lunch ladies. Lauren turned around and smirked._

"_Your not fooling anybody, Swan. I'm not scared of you." She told me before taking her seat at the bitch table. For some odd reason I had developed a hate club since Kyle and I started hanging out._

"_You don't have to be scared for me to whip yo ass." I threatened. _

"_Sit down, Swan. Before I do something I regret." _

_I almost laughed my fucking ass off at the thought of her even attempting to hurt me. Instead I walked right up to her, my face just inches from hers. _

"_Then do something. I fucking dare you." I taunted, but she didn't. "…I'm waiting." She just sat there staring me right to my eyes. She finally looked away and sat back in her seat. I straightened up but didn't take my gaze from off her._

"_Dat's what the fuck I thought. Bitch at yo hat, you ain't doin shit bout it. Fall back hoe." I said before turning around to head back to my table. But then she opened that big fucking mouth of hers. _

"_Your only acting this way because you were raped! Do you think that makes you so big and bad?" she shouted._

_Everyone gasped. I turned around to see her with that stupid ass smirk back on her face. In that moment I was seeing red. I know my face had to be the same crimson color. I felt the tears wash over my cheeks. I heard a loud bang before I realized what I was doing I had Lauren hair in my hand and fist in her face._

"_You dirty, low-down bitch!" I screamed through my tears. How could she? How the fuck did she even know. Only the Cullens and Kyle know. And now the entire town will know. This is the exact kind of attention I wanted to avoid._

Charlie walked through the door and looked at me with sad eyes, then that widened when he saw Lauren. I was sad and hurt but I couldn't help the but smirk that played at my lips. I fucked her up good. Busted lip and black eye, but I wish I could've done more. Like broken that fake ass nose of hers.

"Bella, what happened?" He asked. He sounded mad.

"Chief Swan. May I have a word with you?" Principal Green asked from his office. Mr. and Mrs. Mallory had arrived twenty minutes ago and were in his office right now. They were furious about what I did their bitchy daughter and Mrs. Mallory kept sending me deathly glares.

I sat there for the longest waiting for them to call us in. Edward, Alice, and Kyle stopped by at least twice. Edward to ask me if I was alright and Kyle to tell me how awesome I was. Then Alice to asked me if I was okay and tell me she was proud of me for finally sticking up to her. Leaving quickly because of Lauren's bloody lip.

"Miss Swan, Miss Mallory can I please see you two?" Principal Green asked. Like we had a choice. Lauren's lip stopped bleeding but there was dried blood still there.

"Are you okay Lauren?" he asked her as we stepped inside. I sat to Charlie, not trusting either one of her parents. He looked really pissed this time, but not at me.

"I don't know. She was like an animal. I couldn't stop her." she exaggerated. I rolled my eyes. You would have to be really stupid not to see past her shitty acting façade.

"Right… Take a seat." Principal Green sat in his desk just as Lauren sat down.

"Well, I talked to both of your parents but you two and your actions. Bella, I understand your situation and why you did it but it wasn't the way to handle things. I'm sorry, but I'm going to have to suspend you for three days and suspended from the cheer squad." He explained. I groaned loudly.

"As for you Lauren, what you did was disrespectful and indescribable. You taunted the fight with your rude comment. What happened to Bella is very serious and will not be taken lightly. The ones that knew swore they didn't tell anyone, so I don't know how you found out but I will get to bottom of it. But until I do you are suspended as well."

"What?" she jumped up from her seat. "That's not fair. She hit me and she gets suspended for three days, while I'm practically expelled!"

"Calm down, Lauren are else I can make your punishment worst." He threatened. She huffed and plopped back down in her seat.

Charlie was fuming the rest of the day. Mumbling to himself, I could only make out a short choppy sentences like "Bitch shouldn't have said anything.", "Serves her right." ,and "I wish I could beat her ass myself." I laughed at each one I caught and smiled at how much he cared. He was never one to talk about feelings but it never made him less of the amazing dad he is.

"Bells… I'm sorry that she told everyone. And I'm proud of you for kicking her ass like you should've." he told me finally. He was looking down at his shoes with his hands in his pocket, shifting awkwardly. I was so proud of having him as a father. I wouldn't want anyone else to play the role. He was so caring and loving and it was funny how awkward he was. I ran up to him and pulled him into a hug.

"I love you, daddy." I said, holding him tight. He hugged me back.

"I love you too, Bells. Your nothing like the old you." I know he didn't mean that in a bad way.

"I know dad. I'm still here, but I won't be the same Bella I was before." I admitted.

"I don't want you to be. I'm happy to see you finally grew a back bone. Your just like your old man." he told me with a smile. We both laughed.

_**BREAKING DAWN PREVEIW LINK IS AT THE BOTTOM OF MY PROFILE PAGE!**_

_**Like hated? How do you think Lauren found out.**_


	27. Chapter 27

_**I know, I know. I'm**__**in deep, deep shit. I have no excuse as to why I haven't update since forever.**__**Im sorry. I have honors now and work is getting harder. So I dnt know when I'll be able to post the next chapter AND I'm suffering from major writers block for both my stories **_

**Bella's POV**

After three days, I was finally able to go back to school. Hopefully after all this time some people would have forgotten about the lunch incident. I know that it's highly unlikely but I pray that maybe I'm wrong.

I pull up to the school and silently get out my truck. No ones approached me yet, so I seek a quick glance around, then a double take. I see everyone talking and laughing. Why is no one bombarding me with questions or saying how sorry they are or even giving me pitiful looks? Maybe they haven't noticed me yet. That has to be the reason.

I walk into the front doors, deep in thought. Not paying attention to where I'm going, I bumped into someone.

"Oh! Izzy! Your back!" Tiffany exclaimed. "We've missed you. You were supposed to show Britney and I that cute little dance you do."

I rolled my eyes. That cute little dance she was talking about was the dougie. How old is that dance, and who doesn't know how to do it?

"Umm. Yeah, I forgot. I'll show you at practice today." I told her. I snuck another glance around. No one was paying attention to us. Now knew something was up. Usually every guys head would turn when Tiffany or Britney was around.

"Great! Well, I g2g! TTYL!" were her parting words... or letters. Whatever. I remember her saying she was starting this new trend, talking in text. I guess she was sticking to it, but let's see how long that lasts.

I shook my head and walked to my locker.

"Hey, foxy mama." Kyle whispered. I rolled my eyes.

"You should really stop watching your mom's old 70's movies." I warned him with a smirk. He shrugged.

"Black Dynamite was made last year. It's just based on the 70's." he defended.

I closed my locker and looked at him. Kyle had to know what was going on. He knew everything, always.

"Has anyone... said anything? About the whole thing at lunch?" I asked, a little scared about what his answer might be. Something flashed in his eyes, but it was gone before I could tell what it was.

"No... Not really. I mean I heard the Bitch Squad being their normal bitchy selves, but other than that, nope. Nothing." he gave me a weak smile. That was unlike him. He always seemed sure of himself.

"Is something wrong?" I asked a little suspicious. What was he hiding?

"Well...-" he was cuts off by the bell. "I gotta go!" he said running in the other direction. Stupid fucking bell. I walked to class grumbling unintelligent words.

I walked into my first period class and handed my slip over to a very pregnant Ms. Trinco. I wonder who the baby was for when she was supposed to be going throught a divorce.

"Welcome back, Bella." she told me handing back my suspension slip. The look in her eyes was familiar and the one I'd been looking for all day. I nodded and turned to walk to my seat. But as soon as I turned everyone's heads turned in the other direction.

What the hell?

I walked to my desk with caution, thinking that the second I let my guard down someone was going to attack me. I saw a few people sneak a peek at me then turn their head. This was some 'Children of the Corn' shit... At least I think it is. I heard people saw that movie was creepy and this might be something that could happen. This would probably make more sense if I actually saw the movie.

I sat down next to Hannah and turned to her.

"Hey," I greeted.

She nodded her head once without looking at me. What the _hell_? Even Hannah wasn't talking to me? Usually I couldn't get this chick to shut up.

She was always going on and on about her cat, Lulu, and her new brother-in-law, and her mom's boyfriend. Shit no one actually cares about. On any other day, I would've been happier than a pimp in a strip club that she wasn't talking to me, but today things were just... weird.

"So... How you been?" I asked, trying to get her to talk. She obviously knew what was going on, and I knew that if I pressed to right buttons, I could get it out of her. I just hope I didn't regret it. Once she starts talking, there's no stopping this girl.

She shrugged, still not looking at me.

"... How your cat been? What's his name?..." I asked.

She swallowed hard stealing a quick glance at me.

"Lucy, Lola, Luca..." It was torturing her. If this was some movie or cartoon, she'd be sweating the entire

Mississippi River. I stared at her, letting the bait sit there. It was only a matter of time... Are at least I hoped.

"LULU!" she nearly screamed. "...Her name is Lulu..." I smirked in satisfaction. That is until she continued...

"She doing fine I would think. She strays off sometimes, and it always scares us that she'll never some back. Two days ago she ran off again, but this time she showed up with this scab on her arm and we had to take her to the vet but the was out of town for the week so we kept and eye on it and we noticed this rash she started to get so we went to Port Angles to see a vet and they said it was nothing but they put this cone thingy on her head, you know like you see in movies, and she hates it. But she's still so cute! It's makes it hard for her to eat though-"

"Hannah!" I interrupted. "... Please this is all so... sad. I hate to hear how bad Lola-"

"Lulu." she corrected.

"Lulu's doing. Why don't we talk about something else." I offered. She better have some god damn answers.

"Like what?" she asked.

"Like what's been going on since I've been gone. Why is everyone acting strange?" I asked.

"Oh, I'm not supposed to talk about that." she replied.

"What? Why?" What the hell was that supposed to mean?

"The Cullens told everyone not to." she admitted. Her eyes grew wide and she slapped her hand over her mouth.

"God Dammit, Hannah." I heard someone call from behind me. I didn't look to see. I was too busy wondering why the hell the _Cullens_ told everyone not to talk.

The bell rung and I made my way to my next class. Which I had with Edward.

_**Okay, so very very short for all the time I made you wait, but again. Writers block! I open to ANY IDEAS. Please nothing stating whether or not you want Edward and Bella to get back together.**_

_**Questions:**_

_**Are you excited for the PREMIERE? :D **_


	28. Chapter 28

**Bella's POV**

Edward was, of course, already in his seat when I walked into class. He looked at me and smiled instantly. I was momentarily distracted by his smile as it grew even wider when he noticed my heart beat pick up. I rolled my eyes and tried to remember that I was mad at him.

"What the hell have you been telling everyone?" I asked when I sat down.

"What do you mean?" he asked causally. Like I'm supposed to believe he doesn't know. Did he forget that I know how good he is at lying? He been doing it for years. If there was a metal-... I'm getting side-tracked. I'm really glad he can't read mind or else he'd be laughing at me.

"Why are you telling people not to talk about what happened last week?" I questioned.

"I don't know what you're-"

"Cut the crap, Edward. I'm not fucking around or playing these games with you. I have PMS and GPS. Which means I'm a bitch and I will find you... Tell me." I could tell he was surprised by bluntness. I never talked to him like this before, but it was about time I did. Plus, I wanted to use that PMS/GPS line. I thought it was funny.

He cleared his throat before her started.

"We-..._ I_ thought you wouldn't want people to bring up what happened last week." he admitted.

"So you told everyone to avoid me like the damn plague?" I whispered loudly. He shook his head.

"We told everyone not to say anything about it. They must've taken it the wrong way." he explained. Well of course they were going to take it the wrong way. The Cullens intimidated everyone. I could only imagine how scared those poor kids must've been when Emmett came up to them. They probably went 'number two' in their pants.

"Edward what happens to me, no longer concerns you, so butt out." I threaten, and turn towards the front. He was quiet for a bit.

"I was just trying to help." I almost felt bad. _Almost._ But I had to remember what they put me through. I wasn't going to let them make me feel like I was the bad guy.

"You know... It's not at all what you think... I wish I could tell you what happened, I know you won't believe me. You know the real us would never have treated you like that. We didn't know Tanya c-," But Mr. Matthews cut him off.

"Mr. Cullen, Miss Swan. You both have lunch detention. Come to me after class for your pass." he told us. I rolled my eyes._( I was doing a lot of that lately)_

Mr. Matthews was cool when he wanted to be but a total dip shit some days. He hasn't even taught us anything. Instead, he gives us work we can do in Elementary school then sits at his desk and talks about his personal life. One day he told us to compare and contrast a cat and a dog then started to talk to us about one of his blind dates that was a cross dresser. It was funny at the time, but the next day when Mr. Jasper, the assistant principal, comes in to observe us, he blames not being able to teach on us and our talking. Douche.

My mind was elsewhere for my next two class periods. What did Edward mean when he said 'the real us'? And what did Tanya have to do with any of this... besides the fact that she's his ex. What happened to her anyways?

The bell rung signaling lunch and everyone ran out. I slowly gathered my books and walked to Mr. Matthews's classroom where I knew Edward was already waiting.

_**Okay, so even shorter but I wanted to get this out to try to make up for all the time I wasn't posting. **_

_**QUESTIONS: **_

_**1)What do you think Edward was talking about? I think I made it pretty obvious. **_


	29. Chapter 29

**Bella's POV**

I walked into Mr. Matthew's class and took my seat next to Edward. To no surprise, the teacher wasn't even there. Ugh, jackass bailed.

I turned towards Edward. This was my only chance to talk to him in private without any disturbances.

"What do you want from me Edward? Why can't you just leave me be?" I asked. I can honestly say that being apart from him pained me, but I wasn't going to let him know that. I was never good with expressing my feelings in the first place, a trait I inherited from Charlie.

"Bella, I'm sorry for being such a burden on you. I trying to make things up to you... we all are. I thought I was helping." his sad eyes pleaded with me and I had to look away. He knew what he was doing to me, but showed no smugness. I shook my head. I needed to stay strong and show them that I don't need them or their help. They didn't give it when I needed it most. I tried to hold on to that thought as a reminder as to why I should be angry.

I _am_ angry.

They told me they loved me but then turn around and betrayed me. I trusted and loved them all with everything, but I didn't even get a chance to explain to them what happened before they decided I could do something as disgusting and disloyal as cheat on Edward.

It made me sad to know that I couldn't trust my 'friends' like I thought I could... I thought I could trust the Cullens, but that was an epic fail. I wasn't even sure if I could trust Kyle, because fact-of-the-matter is I honestly thought that maybe he was responsible for the revealing of my secret. Whether or not it was an accident was what mattered most. He didn't seem like the type but people are dishonest and I haven't actually known him long enough to know exactly how manipulating he his. Words can be just (if not more) as deceiving as looks.

It made me sad to know that as close as we've become, he probably wasn't a true friend. I really hoped that wasn't the case. Seemed like Charlie was the only person that I could trust in this town now. The cheer squad was awesome and actually nicer than I thought they'd be (I thought I was gonna have to be a boss bitch), but I've seen Bring It On and though I knew this wasn't like the movies, you still have to be watchful. Friends close, enemies closer and what not.

I turned to the front of the classroom and avoided his gaze. I had nothing to say to him... Other than the fact that I wanted to know more about the Tanya situation.

My phone buzzed in my pocket and I fished it out, thinking maybe it was Kyle wondering where I

was. It wasn't. Instead it was a text from Derek. A 'friend' I met accidentally through texted one day and now won't leave me alone. He's been texting me everyday, wanting to be my boyfriend, though he doesn't know the real me. I told him a huge lie about how I lived in Louisiana like him and that my name was Sabrina. I even told him that I already had a boyfriend and that I had a baby boy named Masen who was fourteen months and that I worked at Subway. Derek was incredibly annoying and persistent. He always asked for me to send him pictures of myself; I did... They were fake though. Ones I had found on the internet. I even got Kyle to pretend to be her boyfriend and text him telling him to stop texting his girlfriend. We expected him to get defensive and angry but instead he did the opposite. He apologized and backed off. I texted him back though, saying that my boyfriend was just over-protective and controlling, just for my entertainment.

At first, I texted him as a joke and I thought it was funny, but guilt ate at me until I couldn't let him go on thinking he was really going to met this 'Sabrina'. So I ended it by telling him she was engaged. I felt incredibly bad when I realized that he wasn't a dick trying to get laid like I had thought, but actually just a really nice guy desperate to find a honest girl that'll love him. I almost cried. I toyed with his emotions and hurt him. I regret doing all of it and wished I was just honest from the start. I felt like the biggest bitch on earth. Go ahead and throw rotten tomatoes at me, I deserve it.

_**Derek: Mornin beauitful**_, the text read. I sighed and put my phone back in my pocket, not bothering to reply back. Ignoring his text was rude and it made me feel worse, but maybe he'd take the hint and stop texting me. It was easier than just telling him to fuck off or even just telling him the truth, though it's what he deserved.

"You should probably go eat," Edward's voice shook me out of my thoughts. "He won't show."

I nodded and lifted from my seat.

"Bella," his voice called when I reached the door. I turned around.

"Please. I know I don't deserve your forgiveness, and the fact that you want us to leave you alone and understandable but Esme and Carlisle would like to see you sometime." He wouldn't keep eye contact and I pondered why. It wasn't like Edward.

"Okay," was all I said before I slipped out the door. I intended on seeing them today maybe.

I walked into the cafeteria and spotted Kyle and his weird hair due at the table farthest to the back. I made my way over and sat down next to Lexi. She looked bored listening to them Austin and Kyle go on about wrestling.

"Izzy! I was looking for you. I wanted to know if you wanted to go to Wal-Mart with me later." he winked.

Wal-Mart was more fun than anything to us, just because of the crazy things we do to get kicked out. Riding the display bikes, putting condoms in old ladies baskets when they aren't looking, trying to put a bag of M&Ms on layaway, and telling random people we love them then try to invite them to an orgy. He even put on a clown mask and asked random people if they knew where the knives were. Those were our best and each time we got in trouble. We did stuff like this until we got banned from the first one and had to go to the one in Port Angeles. The fun we had was worth it. We took so many pictures and they are things that'll I'll always cherish about out friendship. He made me feel like so much fun to be with. These are moments I wish I could've spent with the Cullens. I wish I was doing all these stupid with them instead and I could help but think that Emmett would be so proud of me if he found out I used Wal-Mart as my own personal playground.

"Eh, I don't know Kyle. I got some business to take care of. We'll see later," I told him. He looked disappointed and I hated to be the one to make him feel that way.

Wu

"Oh... Yeah alright," he said. "I'll just come up with some more stuff we can do."

I looked down, unsure of how to respond. Was he expecting me to give into him? Maybe he was more manipulating than I thought.

_**Sorry, it's so short and it took so long. I have no access to a computer anymore so I'm doing this on mY iPod.**_


	30. NOTICE

_**Hey... :/**_

_**I know I haven't updated in months and now I finally do and it's only an author's note. You deserve better. *SIGH* **_

_**BUT!... I will update! :DD It's finally summer and I have 3 months of writing I can catch up on. I have in my head what's gonna happen and how it's gonna end. And I plan to put it into words! :) **_

_**However, I'm having trouble finding a certain movie and I was kinda wondering if you guys would help out a bit... ?**_

_**Pretty please?**_

_**Okay what if I make it worth your wild? (I think thats how that phrase goes...)**_

_**Anyways, if you help me find the movie im looking for I will post, not one!, but to extra long chapters! AND... the first person to find the movie I'm talking about wins a teaser into the chapter after those two! :DD **_

_**The movie I'm looking for is kinda old I guess, well I'm actually not so sure but I saw it years ago and I didn't see what the name of the movie was and I've been looking ever since! **_

_**OK, so here's the summary for the movie, well as much as I can remember.**_

_**OKAY SO THE MOVIE IS ABOUT A BOY WHO I THINK IS HOMELESS AND HE GOES TO THIS HIGH SCHOOL WITH PEOPLE WHO DON'T LIKE HIM BECAUSE HE'S DIRTY. HE DOESN'T OR CAN'T TAKE BATHS AND PEOPLE DON'T TALK TO HIM BECAUSE OF IT. THERE'S A POPULAR GIRL THAT GOES THERE ALSO BUT SHE'S NICE TO HIM UNLIKE EVERYONE ELSE. HER BOYFRIEND HOWEVER IS MEAN TO HIM AND TEASES HIM. **_

_**I REMEMBER ONE SCENE IN THE MOVIE WHERE THE BOY IS DIGGING THROUGH A DUMPSTER LOOKING FOR CLOTHES WHEN THE POPULAR GIRL'S BOYFRIEND AND HIS FRIENDS PULL UP IN A CAR AND START TO MESS WITH HIM. I THINK I REMEMBER HIM SAYING, "YOU GOING SHOPPING?" OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT.**_

_**AND IN ANOTHER SCENE SHE BRINGS HIM SPAGHETTI TO SCHOOL AND HE EATS IN THE LUNCH ROOM AND I REMEMBER HER BOYFRIEND COMING IN THE ROOM.**_

_**And that's about it. That's all I can remember, but if you help me find it I swear I will love you forever. :) If you have any questions inbox me. If you find the movie leave if in a review or inbox me... whatever works. :)**_

_**THANK YOU!**_


	31. Chapter 30

Bella's POV

"So... What do you think?" Kyle asked me excitedly after showing me his new video. He recently made a YouTube channel and was doing comedy videos.

Most of them were funny... and there were some that were offensive, and others that wouldn't even make you crack a smile, but he was really trying. He loved to make people laugh, but was having trouble putting his jokes into a script. They were funny, but either too long or too short. Getting his inspiration from the infamous Jenna Marbles, Shane Dawson, or Smosh, he often took some of their mannerisms and jokes unknowingly. Doing something new was hard since there was already a 'famous' youtuber doing something cool. EpicMealTime was already doing his favorite thing, which was eating the craziest shit you can imagine.

I hesitated to answer his question.

"...Honestly, Kyle... I think you need to get tested," I told him. It was by far the stupidest video he's made yet. It made no sense... At all. It was literally just a few of his friends skating in a park to screamo music. With a lot of falling down.

"I already got tested, turns out it was just a rash." he explained while looking down the front of his pants. I stared at him, not sure if he was joking or being serious. I shook my head and made a mental note to put what had just transpired into a video.

"So do you think Charlie will let you go?" he asked for the thousandth time this week. We got invited to a party earlier this week and I've been avoiding answering the question for the last two days. After what happened last time we went to a party, I've been cautious of going to another one. What of there were more than a few people doing drugs? I didn't even want to smoke weed, God forbid meth or cocaine. I saw those meth project ads, and the people at those parties strike me as the type that would leave me for dead at a hospital after an overdose.

I lied, saying that Charlie probably wouldn't let me go, when in all actuality Charlie liked and trusted Kyle because without him, I'd probably God knows where right now. Kyle was smart about things like that though. He said Forks teens are idiots because they try to throw crazy parties in town where everyone knows everyone and the cops are quick to shut it down. Unlike parties in the city where you can run if the cops did come and the next day the only reminder that you were at a party would be your hangover.

Instead of lying any further, I choose to address the situation.

"Kyle... Are there gonna be people there get stupidfacedd?" I asked seriously. He grinned at the use of the term.

"Yeah, probably. Is that a problem?" He got up from his seat and grabbed his jacket.

"Yes, it's a problem. I... don't wanna be apart of that." I explained to him. I shuddered at the thought of the police bursting down the door and finding a bunch of barely legal teens getting stupidfacedd and Charlie's face when he had to come get me from the jail. I seriously doubt he'd be happy if after years of putting it though my head that drugs were bad that he'd be okay with the fact that it was the thing I arrested for.

"Look Izzy, if you don't come the guys are gonna think you're a poser and I can't hang out with posers."

I raised an eyebrow at him.

"And what the fuck is that supposed to mean?" I was up on my feet now, completely in his face. If he was saying what I thought he was saying...

"Ugh, nothing. Never mind." he exclaimed, picking up his bag.

"Bitch."

Bitch?

"You know what Kyle... Get the fuck out!" I yelled, pointing towards the door. "Go be a clusterfuck by someone else!"

"What-the fuck-ever Izzy." he mumbled and left.

This wasn't the first time he'd done something like this. Everything was about his new friends and what they would think. I didn't say anything the first time, or the time he embarrassed me in front of them, but then it got really annoying. I've never seen him do anything like this before. Kyle was always cool about everything and never let anything or anyone change him or how he saw people. But obviously, something was up. I should've known when I caught him doing drugs at the party. He didn't tell me about it before and he didn't tell me about it afterwards. I thought maybe he had forgotten about it or didn't know what was happening when he was under the influence of the drugs, but after doing some research I realized that wasn't the case at all. He was purposely avoid the subject. Which is why after I brought it up, he decided to leave. I didn't know if this was about his parents, or if he was doing it to seem cool for his friends or what, but I can honestly say that I was beginning to get scared. It was happening all over again. Just when I thought I was getting to know someone for who they really were and not their mask or who they pretend to be, they change into someone else.

The Kyle I thought I knew would've have never pressured me to do something I didn't want to do...

Edward would never pressure me into something I didn't want to do.

I quickly got rid of that thought. Edward was never the person I thought he was. Instead he was selfish and insecure. I was beginning to realize that I would never find the perfect person for me. Someone that can love me for me. Someone to trust me and share their family with me, and protect me. Security is important to me, another reason I felt safe in Edward's arms. I knew he could protect me from anything. With his ability to read minds he'd be able to hear a threat coming from a mile away, and with his strength and speed he could take anything that came his way. I thought he was perfect. I thought he was it for me, but those fairy tales lied. There isn't any such thing as a Prince Charming and happy endings are never real.

_**Not long, but better than nothing. Any questions? Just ask. Next chapter coming soon, if not tomorrow then the next day! **_


	32. AN

**_I haven't update in months, but I was seriously considering discontinuing it. I'm busy with school now and have become more interested in reading Fanfiction rather than writing it. _**

**_I hate when I'm reading a story and find that the author isn't writing anymore and just leaves the story hanging. So I've decided that I won't do that. I'm rewriting the entire thing. I don't like where I went with it and now that I go back a read I can see that A LOT needs to be improved. I might get a BETA and if I do I'll probably write more often since I'll have time to write an entirely new chapter and not a new chapter and revised old chapter at the same time. _**

**_But until I find where I want to head with the story, I won't be writing for a bit. Give me two months tops. I think I like the last few chapters. _**

**_Leave me a review telling me your favorite chapter and your lease favorite chapter. _**

**_Also, It's 'LOVE AND HATE' now and not 'LOVE AND PAIN' since many people don't seem to get that Bella went through a lot of pain and is why I named the story that. _**

**_XOXO _**

**_ CRYSTAL JOYY :)_**


	33. Chapter 33

So it's finally summer vacation for us in Louisiana. :) Which means I won't have anything to do but edit my stories. The first chapter has been re-edited already. So I only have... a lot more to go. Not promising anything this time. It may take a while.


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